When mother-daughter duo Breeze and Ayla Cherry arrived to compete on the new reality series Ready Gamer Mum, they were disappointed but not surprised to be the only all-women team. For 19-year-old Ayla, a champion gamer, walking into male-dominated spaces has long been part of her life. So, too, has navigating the undercurrent of negativity that still trails women in the gaming world.
“There is the stereotype that girls can’t be good at games,” she explains.
“So whenever someone saw me in a higher rank, they’d be like, ‘You didn’t do that on your own, you had help.’”
But the pair quickly realised they didn’t need to worry as they were among like-minded competitors whose biggest concern was having fun and winning.
“Gaming is a community,” Ayla tells.
“Some people go in with so much anger and that competitive spirit in a negative way. But people have to stick together and be supportive of each other, and I’m proud that that is how we’ve represented the community.”
Growing up behind the headset
For Breeze, it was a relief as well. A former gamer herself, the tech consultancy manager admits that when she played as a teen in the early 2000s, she worked hard to conceal her gender. So when Ayla started playing at nine years old, Breeze and her husband, Ash, both 42, put rules in place to protect her from the toxicity so she could enjoy the fun.
“It can really affect the way you play and your self-esteem,” says the mum of two.
“From the beginning, we told her she wasn’t allowed to communicate using mics and to play with her dad as much as she could.”
But as she got older and more competitive, they knew they had to let her fully participate in the experience.
“She was always very upset with people recognising her as a female and then giving her a lot of hate,” recalls Breeze.
“It was heartbreaking to see her go through that. We said, ‘If you want to play, you have to learn how to have a thick skin and deal with those kind of comments.’”
Finding strength in unexpected places
For Ayla, who describes herself as “a really emotional kid”, that resilience didn’t come overnight. But something shifted when gaming became more serious.
“I grew a thick skin when I did competitive gaming,” says Ayla, who is training to be a flight attendant.
“I realised that people are toxic for the hell of it.”
Where gaming led to love
Despite her awareness of gaming’s darker side, Breeze admits it also gave her something extraordinary: love. It was in a chat room of the popular game Counter-Strike that she met Ash. When she was invited by one of his friends to join their team, she thought it would be a bit of fun but was likely a one-time thing. But it wasn’t. Breeze and Ash, then 18, hit it off and spent hours playing and chatting online. It wasn’t long before their friendship turned into something more.
Eventually, Ash took a chance and flew from his home in Christchurch to Auckland to see if their online spark translated to the real world.
“We were like two peas in a pod after that,” Breeze smiles.
“I fell head over heels for him and I jumped on a plane after two weeks to go back to Christchurch to be with him.”
A new kind of team effort
Though Breeze left gaming behind as the demands of motherhood took over, she didn’t hesitate when the opportunity came to step back into that world, this time alongside her daughter. The TVNZ 2 reality competition sees mums take the controller as their children coach them through different video game challenges.
While they made a great team, Ayla admits it was a strange role reversal having to boss her mother around.
“It’s hard telling your mum what to do after your whole life, your mum tells you what to do. It’s quite a weird dynamic.”
But Breeze has high praise for her daughter’s teaching skill.
Patience, learning and laughter
“She was so kind and patient, even when I would try not to listen to her.”
While she loved their time on the show, Breeze laughs as she admits it hasn’t pulled her back to the world of gaming. Instead, the daring challenges they did each week to win advantages have pushed
her to keep trying new things, including getting back on a skateboard!
“I haven’t touched any games,” she laughs.
“I loved the side quests. I’ve been doing a lot of outdoorsy things. Being a little bit more adventurous is something I have discovered being on the show.”
Ready Gamer Mum screens Thursdays at 7.30pm on TVNZ 2 and TVNZ+.
