Photography: : Robert Trathen.
Actor, TV personality, journalist and Real Housewife Louise Wallace MNZM has reinvented herself more times than Madonna and never shied away from calling a spade a spade. Born and bred in Auckland’s Ōrākei, Louise, 66, and her advertising-exec husband Scott, 67, still live in the Hollywood Hills- style house that her father, Russ Hooper, built in 1977.
Louise and Scott first met while studying – she was sitting behind him in a lecture theatre and they became friends – before she pursued her dreams of becoming an actor at drama school in London, then working in media in Australia.
During the 1990s, the mum of two was a presenter on 3 News, Nightline and Mobil Sport – later becoming the face of current affairs show 20/20 and game show The Weakest Link. Funny, candid
and self-deprecating, Louise has pulled back from her first love of performing. She cherishes her role as grandmother to little Marnie, two, and is now the founder of theatre company Tadpole Productions, employing other Kiwi actors and producing plays.
Your theatre company is putting on The Queen’s Nanny based on real events. Does it feel uncannily timely?
Well, when the Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor scandal really got going, I thought people might not come because they’re horrified about him. But I think people are more fascinated than ever by untold stories of royal life. I am a British royalist. I think with Andrew, it was probably his personality more than anything else. He was always going to be a knob. Our play is about [governess] Marion Crawford, who spent 16 years inside the royal household – raising two future princesses – before a memoir sparked a scandal that would exile her from the palace forever. It’s a cracking play with three outstanding actors [Anna Jullienne, Laura Hill and Jack Buchanan].
What were you like as a teen?
I was quite naughty at St Cuthbert’s – probably as a reaction to having really strict parents. I had this horrendous holiday job at a make-your-own-sandwich place in Newmarket. That actually made me realise how dreadfully rude people are to people in service roles for no good reason.
Did you have early leanings as a child towards drama and performing?
Oh, I was a terrible show-off. I got the leads in the musicals at school. I was obsessed with The Sound of Music and Julie Andrews. In fact, that was my Facebook name for a while. But funnily enough, all my social media accounts – as Julie Andrews – got wiped overnight with no way of getting it back. It was a pain, but not devastating.
Is that what made you stay off social media for a few months?
I stayed off social media because I got “cancelled” after I went on breakfast TV and said people put on weight because they ate too much. I was asked my opinion about our stats on obesity and I gave it. Then my social media got wiped because one of my followers posted something inappropriate, so I thought that’s probably quite good. Social media is a scourge.
Do you ever read comments about yourself on there?
Sometimes I do, mainly to see how vile people can be. I posted a photo the other day of me with [Married At First Sight’s expert] John Aiken – I worked with him years ago – and someone commented, “What a shame about your eyebrows.” That’s pretty tame, though. A lot of the trolls seem to be women in their fifties and sixties actually… what the hell? They must be so bitter. Can you imagine if social media was around when I was doing The Weakest Link or Celebrity Treasure Island? It would have been bad.
Is there a misconception about you that you’ve constantly had to dispel?
Look, I don’t really care. I’ve faced those my whole life. I’m not one of those people who want to be everybody’s friend. If they don’t know or like the real me, so be it. In fact, I know people who don’t like me – professionally or personally. Things have got back to me. So what?
It has been 10 years since Real Housewives of Auckland premiered. Any regrets about starring in it?
No, that was a really interesting show to go through, although I did underestimate the intrusion into my privacy. I found it [the focus on wealth] cringe-worthy and embarrassing because I’ve always tried to avoid revealing my privileged life throughout my entire career. So I felt slightly mortified.
Did you feel like you were playing a character?
No, but I took it the least seriously of any of the girls, which the producers did not like. I wanted to make good TV, and I knew what would rark people up and what the audience would like – I’d been a director on reality TV shows, so I knew what I was doing. They spent a lot of time trying to second-guess me and bring me down. And I did the same with them. So it was a battle of wits. I could also see the mistakes and pitfalls the other girls were getting into. But it wasn’t my job to stop them – it was their storyline. I was annoyed we were only used to launch the Bravo channel. There was never any intention for us to go past season one, yet the show rated number one.
The show made headlines for a racial slur that was used. Do you remember what you thought at the time?
Well, thank God I didn’t say it and I never would.
Share the best thing about your life at the moment.
That would definitely be my granddaughter Marnie. I don’t get to see her much because she lives in Canberra, Australia. If anybody is headed to the stage, she is. I said to my daughter Ash, “You’ve got to get her into dance classes.” And she said, “Well, I’m just not sure she’s got any talent.” I told her, “Darling, it doesn’t matter. As her grandmother, I’m going to shout that she’s gifted whether she is or not.”
Is it hard having your two adult kids living overseas?
I miss them incredibly. But my son Guy [31], who’s lived out of New Zealand for 13 years, intends to come back to live here, which makes me so happy. He’s been in London since 2021 and the UK at the moment is in a sad state. My daughter Ash [35] is a journalist for breakfast radio in Canberra, and is also very good at comedy and improv.
They must have felt so proud of you for being awarded a Member of the NZ Order of Merit last year.
Oh, it was huge. Me getting an MNZM was the biggest “flip the bird” to people who don’t like me. I had missed the first email, so when I got the phone call about it, I thought it was a scam. I actually said that on the phone, but they rang me back. It was an incredibly special day. I’ve heard about people trying to engineer a King’s Honour. I remember a friend of my father, who was desperate for a knighthood, so he used to take Sir Rob Muldoon away on holiday with him. For me, along with my granddaughter, it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. I did embarrass myself, though, with Dame Cindy Kiro, who is so lovely. After saying goodbye, she saw my little Gucci handbag and commented, “Nice bag!” I went “Yesss” and lightly whacked her on the arm
like you would a friend, and then I thought, “I’ve just hit the Governor-General!”
When did you last cry?
Watching the Kennedy-Bessette Love Story series. Their wedding scene made me so sad. Scotty will tell you I’m in heaven when I’m sitting in front of the TV howling, watching some drama.
You’ve been married to Scott for 43 years. Are you opposites?
No, we’re not that different. I lose my rag more and you can’t have two people in a marriage that lose their rag. We’re just best mates who grew up together.
Is ageing something you’ve embraced or struggled with?
I hate it – physically, mentally, everything. It sucks. I don’t want to age gracefully. Once you get past 60, all you think about is not falling over! Usually, I fall over after a few wines! People my age seem to be breaking things and having knee and hip replacements. I still try to ski once a year and I can hack my way around the golf course. I only got into golf to keep up with my friends and exercise outside.
Looking back, what in your life are you most proud of?
I think it’s three-fold. I’m still trying to be curious, I’m still having comebacks and I’m just not afraid to be myself. I’ll probably fade into the background in my seventies and that’s just life.
Future goal?
I reckon I could do a damn good job of a chat show, although I’d probably just talk about myself!
The Queen’s Nanny makes its premiere May 14-24 at The PumpHouse Theatre in Auckland, presented by Tadpole Productions. Book at pumphouse.co.nz
