Photography: Andi Crown
I got into the sex industry by accident. I blame my Emmy-winning BFF and fellow comedian Shoshana McCallum, who asked me one day, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun to make a series where well-known people have to write erotica and then read it aloud?’ ‘Yes, that would be very funny,’ I replied. ‘I would lol heaps at that.’
We then proceeded to kick the idea around for a decade, before finally turning it into a stage show, which immediately sold out, requiring us to add more dates. It was clear the appetite for erotica was ravenous.
And when the idea of turning it into an RNZ podcast was floated, it felt like Erotica By The Fire had finally found its perfect form – a funny but also deeply moving, vulnerable, joyful and relatable experience that you could consume anywhere.
For me, erotica used to extend to Sky 1 soft porn after midnight (I’m sorry, is my age showing?) and knowing the name of Jackie Collins. It was something that gross boys watched or desperately sex-crazed housewives read when their husbands were at work.
I knew I felt funny when Captain von Trapp looked at Maria after he sang Edelweiss and when Aladdin’s pecs peeked through his purple vest in the Disney film, but ‘erotica’ was still a slightly dirty word, like ‘porn’ or ‘skin flick’.
The rise of our saucy side
Talking with our celebrity podcast guests about their private worlds on Erotica By The Fire has really challenged this thinking and pushed it so much deeper (sorry). With sex still a taboo topic and people squirming when describing their idea of a good time, I’m stoked that we can be part of a new age of erotica.
Just like true crime smashed its way into the mainstream a decade ago, erotica is now having its moment – think Heated Rivalry, Bridgerton and Rivals. (If you’re not watching Rivals, what are you doing with your life?!)
I’ve also tried reading the bestselling A Court Of Thorns And Roses book series, however, fairies and beasts just don’t really do it for me – not yucking anyone’s yum, but it’s not my jam.
The thing about erotica is that we’re so obsessed with being judged that we forget that everyone has pervy thoughts and feelings that are unique to them. What we do share is the isolation that comes from thinking we’re the only ones. What a stink, unerotic world it would be if we were all into the same thing sexually!
Erotica By the Fire offers both titillating and saucy stories, but it’s also a chance to discuss our vulnerabilities and collective cultural repression. It’s a discomfort we can share and find connection in.
Our first season of Erotica By The Fire was very much an experiment. We knew people wanted sexy stories written by celebrities. Discussing that erotica felt intense, but it turned out to be the best part of the show.
Season two can’t come soon enough
There was nothing like maintaining eye contact with Good Bones comedian Josh Thomson while he read a steamy story about compost, then talked about how he ended up topless on a Brazilian website called Cubs And Chubs.
Mum, I’m Alien Pregnant star Yvette Parsons wrote a literary masterpiece about the dirty world of sex and insects, before revealing how, for a period, she insisted on being topless in every project she was in as a way to reclaim her body.
ZM radio host Bree Tomasel penned erotic fan fiction about Celebrity Treasure Island, comedy queen Brynley Stent imagined a Cats after-party that was a horny, rapturous delight and Bust Up actress Kura Forrester delved into a world that rivalled Mills & Boon.
The beauty of Erotica By The Fire was discovering that while everyone has their own flavour of freak, we all share similar feelings of shame, cringe and eroticism.
While erotica is not everybody’s cup of hot chai, we hope that by sharing a laugh, and discussing people’s tics, turn-ons and vulnerabilities, we can start to bring these private worlds to light – and, in doing so, maybe even change the way we feel about ourselves. I know my world has changed. Bring on season two!”
Quickie quiz
Bree Tomasel
What makes you horny?
Quiet confidence and someone who can stack a dishwasher in a certain way. If they can do that, then they know their way around!
Who was your first celeb crush?
Anna Kournikova. I used to get my nan to record her matches on VHS. She never won any Grand Slams, but she did win my heart.
What’s your biggest fantasy?
In recent times, I’d have to say Heated Rivalry.
Is that weird?
Or A League Of Their Own – the movie, not the TV show.
Josh Thomson
What makes you horny?
Tiramisu and a fruity shiraz.
Who was your first celeb crush?
Lana Coc-Kroft and Jemima from Play School.
What’s your biggest fantasy?
The Jaycar catalogue. There’s always stuff in there I don’t really need, but it’s my fantasy, so leave me alone.
Yvette Parsons
What makes you horny?
Bonfires on the beach.
Who was your first celeb crush?
Donny Osmond.
What’s your biggest fantasy?
Recreating the film The Shape Of Water with Guillermo del Toro.
Tom Sainsbury
What makes you horny?
Good dental hygiene.
Who was your first celeb crush?
Michelle Pfeiffer’s Cat Woman as she whipped off the mannequins’ heads in Batman Returns.
Johanna Cosgrove
What makes you horny?
My favourite book series, Throne Of Glass by Sarah J Maas. Think Lord Of The Rings meets Game Of Thrones but centred around a teenage assassin who’s – spoiler alert – faerie royalty. Oh, and there are sexy witches and messed-up demon parasites!
Erotica By The Fire is now available at rnz.co.nz and wherever you get your podcasts.
