We quiz ourselves daily on the small stuff, yet the big questions, the ones that shape our lives, often go unaddressed. To help get you thinking this year, we’ve asked seven familiar faces to share their questions with us. Here is radio and television presenter Stacey Morrison on what makes a good parent.
We don’t often get the chance to take a step back from the daily work of parenting and look at the bigger picture – what kind of parent we are, and how we want our children to see us. It’s an important question because it can help us focus on who we ultimately want to be as mothers.
Soon my children will see me from above – it won’t take long to overtake me in physical stature – so I hope they see I chose their papa pretty well in terms of breeding in some hope for height.
I also chose a father for them who adores and appreciates their individual charms as much as I do, who watches them sleep (or not sleep, that’s been a strength of theirs), puts them at the centre of our lives, and has been taught so much by having them as our children.
As a mother I’ve realised it’s important to me that my children see me as a woman who works hard, but not just for myself, or even just our whānau, but for our wider community.
I also want them to see as I juggle work and try to bring together all that’s important to me, that I’m sometimes tired, sometimes disappointed and experience failures, and that doesn’t mean I’m a failure. If my children see that in me, I hope they’ll understand trying and failing is not a weakness, but a strength.
Much of the world we’ve built for our whānau has been to give them substance in all parts of their culture, so that being Māori is a source of pride for them, and allows them to express their Māori spirit.
Their culture as Pākehā is just as important, and we celebrate the amazing tapestry of whakapapa that brought us to being who we are; English, Welsh, Scots, French…
I hope they can see we’re giving them a childhood that means they can be global citizens who are strong in their own lineage, and hold the same respect for other cultures. I hope they see I love being a New Zealander, and feel proud about all that this means.
Hopefully they will see all the cool things I get them to do, which they sometimes complain about, like swimming and piano classes, are key skills I wish I’d learnt as a child. I’m active and healthy, a lifelong learner, and I hope they see a hunger for knowledge will mean life can never be boring.
As a mama, I hope they consider me fun and loving, firm but fair, a mother who will apologise when I’m wrong or have stuffed it up, who always treats them with respect and looks after their hearts.
Their hearts have expanded mine endlessly, and I hope they see being their mother has been a revelation, and will always be my most treasured privilege.