We quiz ourselves daily on the small stuff, yet the big questions, the ones that shape our lives, often go unaddressed. To help get you thinking this year, we’ve asked seven familiar faces to share their questions with us. Here is Labour MP Jacinda Ardern on being afraid.
After eight years of persistent nagging, an old friend of mine from Italy finally gave in and visited New Zealand.
When he arrived he literally stepped off the plane, got in a cab, and went to Piha so he could go surfing. I was terrified that in his first few hours in this country, my friend would feature in an episode of Piha Rescue. He was just learning to surf, but seemed to be approaching the whole thing with what was a reckless disregard for my nerves.
After the experience he told me he loved it so much he had booked in another session, and that I would be going with him. I laughed in his face.
“There is no way I am going surfing with you.”
He faked offence in a way that only a Roman can, and then pushed a little harder.
“Nope, no way, I am not getting in that water with you. Look, MetService says there’s a storm coming. And I’m busy, very busy.”
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I wasn’t busy. And you can always fake a weather excuse in New Zealand. The truth was I was terrified, and I never used to be.
There was a time when the thundering waves didn’t make me bat an eyelid. I remember hounding my parents in the middle of winter to take me to the beach so I could bodyboard or swim.
If I’m honest, nothing more happened to put me off the sea other than I got older, got knocked around a bit more, and started seeing risk in a way kids just don’t.
Where does that fearless nature go, and how do we get it back for the hard stuff?
The moment when a colleague suggests you go for that promotion, to enrol in that course you think you might fail, to run that distance you think should only ever be taken on in a vehicle.
Maybe the key lies in what we didn’t do as kids, or what we probably did a little less of.
The over-analysis, the appraisal of how much loss of face having a go and not succeeding would mean. The stuff that creeps in as we get old and learn the rules of the game where the easiest path is the one of least resistance.
What if we instead asked what our 12-year-old self would think, the version of yourself that probably believed you could do anything, even if ‘anything’ then meant hanging upside down on a jungle gym for longer than Shelley from Room 2.
Maybe we should channel that younger self a little more often and feel a little more self-belief. And maybe, just maybe, I should go surfing.
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