Pictures: Juliette Drysdale
Paralympic cycling medallist Nicole Murray has long known she was different from many people around her.
Growing up the small Waikato town of Ngāhinapōuri, she lost her hand in a lawnmower accident at the age of five, but it wasn’t the disability that marked her out as different.
“As a kid, I was full of energy and curiosity – I’d run everywhere instead of walking because walking took too long,” recalls Nicole. “In school, sitting still was torture and I was constantly off task unless I was really interested.”
Attending a small country school, she says her differences were invisible. She’s keen to stress her disability was never an issue.
“I don’t ever remember feeling down about missing a hand,” she tells. “I was never bullied, and I only felt total support from my school and others around me. I’ve always felt a lot of acceptance from people in New Zealand about my disability.”
Marked out as “disruptive” in class, however, Nicole impressed as a soccer player and a cross-country runner, gaining confidence through sport. Keen on the outdoors and with a passion for caving, she pursued a job as a guide at Waitomo Caves after leaving high school.
“Working in such a beautiful environment and abseiling into a cave to see glowworms every day was a real thrill,” says Nicole. “Helping to build an appreciation of nature in people is something worth doing.”
Nicole – who has been nominated for Para Athlete of the Year at the prestigious Halberg Awards – got back into competitive sport in her twenties. Attending a conference in which amputees were given the opportunity to try various sports, Nicole was advised she had potential to be a good cyclist.
She initially dismissed the prospect of sitting on a bike for hours as “boring”. But eventually, track cycling opened up a whole new world.
“I went to the velodrome in Cambridge. The steepness of the banks and speed of the bike there just blew my mind!”
Nicole was instantly hooked. Within three years of taking up the sport, in 2018, she won a silver medal at the World Para Cycling Track Championships in Rio de Janeiro. Then in 2021, she made her Paralympic debut in Tokyo.
Afterwards, while talking to a friend about her ADHD diagnosis, Nicole realised she might have the disorder too.
She recalls, “I related to a lot of my friend’s symptoms, although I was initially hesitant to get a diagnosis. I didn’t realise not everyone thought in the same way and that my experiences of life were not neuro-typical.
“It took about a year for me to act on my ADHD suspicions and speak to the GP. This kickstarted the journey to being given an official diagnosis – a process that has proved incredibly validating.”
Taking daily medication has dramatically changed her life for the better.
“It manages dopamine levels in my brain. That helps with my ability to prioritise where I’m putting my attention,” explains Nicole. “This means I can stay present in conversations longer, cut down on procrastination and better navigate my emotions.
“The medication has not solved all my ADHD symptoms. However, I can do tedious tasks more easily and focus on longer rides. It’s not that I have a deficit in attention. I just sometimes lack an ability on where to appropriately focus that attention. The medication has helped teach me self-compassion and understand that I’m not a bad or lazy person, but that a lack of chemical in my brain makes certain things harder for me to achieve.”
Rather than focusing on the negative, Nicole’s greater understanding of the condition has allowed her to celebrate the positives. For example, she likens her ability to hyperfocus to a superpower, which can be a potent force in elite sport.
It’s no coincidence that her cycling career has soared since the diagnosis. In 2023, she won gold, silver and bronze medals at the World Championships. Then, she claimed a bronze in the C5 Individual Pursuit at the Paralympics in Paris last year.
Looking ahead, Nicole hopes to add to her haul of 15 world champ medals and is immensely proud of being named the Best Female Summer Para Athlete in the World at the 2023 Para Sport Awards.
Grateful for her diagnosis, Nicole recommends others who suspect they have ADHD to seek professional help.
“The process can take a long time, so I’d urge women to make a start on the diagnosis, before your mental health deteriorates,” she asserts. “There is no better investment than your own wellbeing. It has transformed my life!”
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