Photos: Babiche Martens
Nicky Styris may well be the only nana spotted wearing a bright red bikini when she takes her granddaughter Mila to a local pool for toddler swimming lessons.
At 58, the sports journalist and former AM newsreader is a cool granny – even if it’s a role that she’s still getting her “head around”.
Others had told her about the “magical” love you have for a grandchild. It’s a different kind from the one you have for your own children – but she wondered if it was true. Turns out, it is.
“The amount of love I’ve felt has definitely been a surprise,” tells Nicky, chatting to the Weekly with eldest daughter Hannah Gosney, 31, and tickling gorgeous grandson Finn’s feet as he gives gummy smiles from his bouncer.
“I thought, ‘Yeah, yeah, people say that,’ but they’re actually right. I didn’t think I could feel any more love than I did for the birth of my own children. Yet, becoming a grandparent has been the most amazing, special time.
“I’m not a particularly maternal person. But these ones…” she says, looking over at Finn and Mila, “can do no wrong. I’m in love with them!”
Nicky has realised the sheer pleasure of arriving somewhere to have a little face light up or scream out “Nanaaaa!”
She and her husband, former Black Caps all-rounder Scott Styris, 49, often pop around to Hannah and partner Tom Herman’s house at the “arsenic hour” of 5pm to help out or in the weekend for park visits.
Two-and-a-half-year-old Mila is described as an energetic “firecracker” (at our photoshoot, she pretended to be the photographer), while wee five-month-old Finn is a placid “chiller”.
“Mila is very loving towards me and Scott, who she calls ‘Dot’,” she laughs. “In fact, she loves him too much sometimes for my liking. He might be her favourite!
“I always remember being excited to see my own grandparents. I have memories of sitting on my Poppa’s knee, drinking tea out of a saucer. As these two get older, there’ll be little things like that they’ll only do at Nana’s house.
“You appreciate children more when you can relax and spoil them, and aren’t doing the hard yards of sleepless nights, feeding and relentless nappy changes.”
Hannah, who’s on maternity leave from her job as a senior marketing manager, nods in agreement. Thick in the trenches of parenting two under two, Hannah says, “You don’t realise how hard it is to be a mum until you’re one. It makes you appreciate your own mother so much more.
“We’ve always been very close and are both into our fitness. Mum had me quite young at 26, so there probably was an element of us growing up together.”
Adds Nicky, “Well, I was still finding myself when I had you. I was no longer in a relationship with your dad. And when Hannah was three, I changed careers from teaching to journalism. So I probably wasn’t as motherly or doting as I could have been.
“I made sure she had the best upbringing she possibly could, but I also felt determined to have my own career. I have friends who call Hannah their second child because they probably have as much to do with raising her as I did.”
Muses Hannah, “I don’t think it’s a bad thing, though. You weren’t one of those mums who did everything for me, which made me quite independent. And because of the role model I’ve had, I don’t have extra mum-guilt over going back to work. I think I’m a better mum when I’ve got balance.”
After Hannah had given birth to Mila and was up feeding during the night, she could text her mother at 3am, who was heading in to the TV studio for AM.
“Hannah would often send messages saying, ‘I’ve had the worst night ever. This and this has happened and I’m so exhausted,’” recalls Nicky. “I’m literally in the studio reading these messages and sharing them with (then co-hosts) Mel Chan-Green and Ryan Bridge, going, ‘Oh, dear, it hasn’t been a great night… best I steer clear of that household today!’
“But my job as a mum was to just let her vent, be sympathetic and reassure her by saying, ‘I understand, it’ll be okay.’ Because that’s all new mums really need to hear, really – not advice.”
There’s a 13-year age gap between Hannah and her younger sister Emison, 18, who is heading off to America in August to study at LMU [a private university in Los Angeles] on a water polo scholarship. Needless to say, the tissues aren’t far away as Nicky processes becoming an empty nester.
“I cried when she took a short trip to Sydney recently. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when she leaves,” she tells. “Emison’s more of a homebody who, bless her, makes her presence felt. She’s a strong personality.
“I’ve always said to Hannah and Emi, ‘You go and be the best person you can be. Don’t ever think there are barriers for what you want to do.’”
Encouraged by her own parents – Judy Boocock, 82, and Don Walker, 84 – Nicky became a competitive trampolinist at the age of 12 and went on to place third in her age group at the world champs.
Then, adorned with the ubiquitous ’80s perm, she came runner- up at the Miss New Zealand Universe pageant in 1989.
“It wasn’t something I ever wanted to be in – I was a tomboy!” she laughs. “The modelling agency I worked for in Dunedin put me forward for the pageant without telling me. But then I thought, ‘It’s a good opportunity to have some fun and be involved in a TV production, and get asked questions by host Bob Parker.’ I’ve still got the sash!”
Beginning her career as a high-school phys ed teacher, Nicky transitioned into studying journalism and became a sports news presenter for TVNZ, then Sky TV and Three. As a newsreader, her quick wit and “unfiltered” banter with Ryan Bridge became a hit with breakfast TV viewers. She felt gutted when the show was axed last year.
“I was sad when AM finished,” she sighs. “I really miss it. Yeah, the hours were bad, but it didn’t feel like work. So many people still come up to me and say how much they miss watching the show.”
Since then, Nicky has been focusing on emcee work, hosting sports launches, awards nights and corporate functions.
She’s someone who has always been intentional with her health and fitness, and is quite happy to challenge any notion that older women pass from middle-age into decrepitude.
The former sportswoman hopes to tap into a space where she can pass on all the tips and tricks she’s learned about nutrition and wellbeing for women in mid-life. Especially when they’re the ones often asking Nicky, “What’s your secret to looking so good?”
She reflects, “Maybe it’s my own ego, but I feel determined not to be invisible! Some people feel when you get to your late fifties, it’s all over. I’m not sure I think like that! I feel as young and capable as I ever did. I also feel immensely proud when people come up and say, ‘How do you stay so fit at your age?’
“You just have to have a little bit of knowledge, a little bit of discipline and the determination to invest in your future 80-year-old self. Every morning after I wake up, I try to do some form of movement. Some days, I don’t want to lift weights or do high-intensity exercise. In that case, it’ll just be a walk around the block. It’s not just about your physical health, it’s about mental health as we go through hormonal change.
“I’m really passionate about women looking after their bone density. I had a hip replacement last year, which was the best thing I ever did. I feel like I’ve got a lot to share.”
The vivacious broadcaster started on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) estrogen patches in her late forties for menopause symptoms. She describes it as “life-saving” for her and Scott, who thought she’d turned into “the anti-Christ”.
She says, “I always say to my mates who are five years behind me in age, ‘You guys want to get a patch and join my gang?’ I’m like their litmus test. They watch what happens to me and then they’ll go, ‘Okay, this is what’s coming to us next.’”
And as amazing as it is, she still can’t quite believe she’s in the stage of life of watching her child become a parent.
“It’s weird because you don’t feel like you’re old enough!” she exclaims. “All of a sudden you’re in it and you go, ‘Wow! That crept up’ and then it becomes very cool.”
When Hannah and Nicky are asked how they’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day, there’s a pause before Hannah asks, “Maybe we could come over to yours for dinner, Mum?”
Quips Nicky, “Well, that’s what usually happens. I’m a foodie, so a lot of how I show my love to my family is to have them over for dinner.
“If I left my husband to do it, then you never know what you’re going to get. And last year, Tom organised a couple’s massage for Mother’s Day and asked me to look after Mila so he could go with Hannah to have a massage.
“I said, ‘Oh, gosh, Tom. I didn’t realise it was Father’s Day too!’”
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