Photos: Amalia Osborne
It’s Sunday afternoon and Josh Kronfeld is sitting in his wife Bronwyn’s Auckland hair salon talking casually about six months of taking suppositories and how annoying his haemorrhoids are.
And that’s before he jumps out of the chair to give an animated re-enactment of a rectal examination at his doctor’s clinic and starts on the subject of controlling men’s “drips and dribbles”. Embarrassed? Josh isn’t.
The former All Black is unashamedly evangelical about the need to talk about men’s health and wants the conversation to become normalised as much as women talk about periods or menopause.
He has stepped up as the ambassador for TENA men’s products, whose campaign for Prostate Awareness Month is about blokes getting candid about their health.
“We talk about mental health a lot – now it’s time to talk about ‘down there’,” he says.
Josh, 53, has had his own experience of this lately. He’s had to see “every specialist under the sun” – including a urologist and cardiologist – in recent months.
“I noticed I had a slower urine stream,” he admits. “That’s a symptom for prostate cancer. However, it can happen to any male and doesn’t have to be due to ageing. So it takes me longer to go to the toilet. Yeah, it’s a bit emasculating!
“Then the haemorrhoids [swollen veins in the rectum and anus that cause discomfort and bleeding] started, which are often due to diet issues and not drinking enough water.”
Chest pains have been an ongoing issue too. After a close friend suffered a heart attack, followed by triple bypass surgery, Josh was motivated to get his heart checked out as well.
“I’ve had ECGs, done the treadmill test and had a coronary calcium scan to check my arteries. They were all fine,” he says. “I discovered my chest aches were actually driven by neck, rib and cartilage pain because they’ve all been mangled so much.
“I’ve obviously played a stupid sport, which I loved dearly, but rugby left me with lots of debilitating issues like arthritis in my ankles, neck and shoulders.
“I very rarely sleep through the night,” reveals Josh. He retired from rugby in 2003 after playing 54 tests for the All Blacks.
Now a physiotherapist, he’s surprised at statistics showing Kiwi men suffer more shame and stigma about their health, particularly penile issues, than our Aussie counterparts.
“When it comes to pelvic health, men need to get better at saying, ‘Try this. Try that,’” says Josh. “Because when you have prostate issues, your sex life can go out the door and that can really affect your mental health too. But there’s a lot that can be done – through professional help and having a chat with those who’ve been through it.”
Of course, in his own social circles, Josh uses humour and self-deprecating banter to bring up those often cringe-worthy topics.
“I was joking about going to see the specialist the other day,” he recalls. “I told them he had me in a sweat with the probe up my rectum, my hands were clenched and it felt like he was using a butter churner up there! All my mates were laughing. “Then one of them said, ‘Yeah, I’ve had it too and it’s not great, but it’s only a short moment of discomfort.’
“We’ve had conversations around Viagra – some will proudly report that they don’t need it. But it often leads into other chats,” says Josh, who’s not afraid to be, well, ballsy.
“I might go, ‘Have you ever tried such-and-such pelvic exercise?’ Erectile dysfunction can often be a precursor for heart disease.”
Josh agrees that as men grow older, they tend to let their social lives lapse. Many male friendships are based on work or earlier sporting connections and so aren’t deep in nature.
“I fully get it,” he tells. “Often there’s one person within groups that drives the social catch-ups – I’m not it within my mates. The ‘grumpy old man syndrome’ is a real thing!
“Women are much better at finding solutions within their groups and sharing what’s really going on in their lives. My wife is my biggest driver for making sure I take care of my health.”
As many wives will testify, Bronwyn, 53, always senses when things aren’t right with her husband. She’s extra-conscious because of her own experience with the death of her beloved dad, Herbie Illingworth, in December 2022.
“When Dad started experiencing a lot of pain through his body, everyone presumed it was old injuries playing up,” tells Bronwyn.
“Dad broke his back when he was younger and then later had his knees replaced. But actually, he was riddled with cancer. He was the typical tough Southern man, who always said, ‘I’ll be right,’ when in reality he wasn’t great.
“At the end, he kept saying to me, ‘I should’ve said how I really was earlier, shouldn’t I?’ That’s a legacy we can all learn from. So now, I always say to Josh that we don’t want a ‘Dad scenario’. It’s best to check it out and be safe rather than sorry.”
The couple – who are parents to sons Cassius, 15, and Arlo, 11 – share the rigours of running two businesses, often having a “check-in” with each other on Sunday mornings.
“We lie in bed and take time to have a really good chat. It may be about the kids or our health, or how we can best sort out problems that have come up in the week,” says Bronwyn, who is owner of Toni&Guy New Zealand.
“We have pretty open discussions with our own kids too,” adds Josh. “We had a conversation about this interview today. The little fella was mortified when I said Dad would be talking about a dripping willy. Weren’t ya?” he says, ruffling his youngest son’s hair. (Arlo responds by screwing up his face, causing Josh to burst out laughing).
Reflecting upon his upbringing, Hawke’s Bay native Josh says his own parents were “pretty liberal” and spoke candidly about bodily functions.
“My parents were basically hippies without the full hippy lifestyle,” he smiles. “When my siblings and I were growing up in Hastings, we joked they were like the couple from [British sitcom] The Good Life. They grew their own veges. Mum Liz was a health freak. We had horses and goats in the backyard. We didn’t have a TV. Nudity wasn’t a big deal. And I think it was a great way to grow up.”
Bronwyn has previously shared her own health issues with the Weekly. She’s is now grateful to be on the other side of battling endometriosis, intestinal parasites and having her ovaries removed after developing ovarian cysts.
“After that article came out, a lot of readers contacted me on Instagram,” she tells. “There were people who thought my symptoms sounded similar to theirs.
“When I had the parasites, I felt loopy. But when I had my ovaries taken out, I felt soulless.”
Bronwyn explains she would be crying for no reason and catastrophising every outcome. Needless to say, she wasn’t coping.
“You’re not supposed to take hormone replacement therapy [HRT] for six weeks after an oophorectomy,” she explains. “I’m so thankful for having a holistic GP, Dr Olivier Caunes and gynaecologist Dr Anil Sharma, who listened.
“Once I went on HRT, it was instantly amazing… I felt better than before I’d had kids. I was a ‘geriatric mum’, so I was probably peri-menopausal as soon as I had Arlo at 42.”
The self-titled “type A” personality has also learned to slow down and not strive for perfection.
Bronwyn admits her lists of what she wanted to achieve in a day were completely unrealistic.
“I’m now very religious about meditating every morning and either taking a walk or doing 10 minutes of yoga to help me keep balanced,” she tells.
Bronwyn says the best thing about Josh’s unwavering support is that he doesn’t over-dramatise situations and tends to focus instead on solutions.
“If mates are going through a tough time, it’s Josh they call. He’s matter-of-fact with a medical health background. He brings the facts and realises when to listen and offer the occasional bro hug too. He was like that when I was quite ill.”
Smiling over at his wife, Josh reckons it comes down to a simple philosophy.
“The important stuff is the people around you,” he says. “As long as you’re doing right by them and they see you trying to do right by them, nothing else matters.
“I’ll probably get some ribbing for all I’ve disclosed − but I just don’t care!
“I want to help champion a change in how we males address our health for better outcomes for all. We are just losing too many of our brothers way too early. Especially when so many health issues can be prevented with regular checks and being open in the chats.”
For more information on the prevention and management of men’s bladder weakness, check out tena.co.nz.
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