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April Ieremia’s Valentine’s wish

Dear Eros, can you please send me a seriously hot 6ft 4in Adonis with chiseled abs, a tight butt and wrap-around arms for Valentine’s Day?

Dear Eros,

Can you please send me a seriously hot 6ft 4in Adonis with chiseled abs, a tight butt and wrap-around arms for Valentine’s Day. I also want him to be smart, funny, self-sufficient and not dysfunctional – not to mention single! It may seem like a tall order but if you can’t manage it, can I just have true love?

All the best,


What do we really want when it comes to love? Is it wheel-spinning, picture-perfect chemistry? Or are we looking for a kind, considerate bloke who absolutely cherishes us and is ready to make us the queen of his kingdom?

Obviously, any self-respecting girl would say the latter but most of us are mental, ready to commit ourselves to the first “too-good-to-be-true, high-maintenance, run-with-the-pack, jack- the-lad” kind of guy.

As a rule, I never give the “seriously hot types ” the time of day because in the past they have been lightweights. Their personality and sense of humour seems undercooked. Most of their lives all they have to do is open their eyes and smile and whatever they want falls in their lap.

Over the years, their charm is perfected, allowing them to ask for everything and expect it. Why? Because most of us ding bats melt in their presence. We become stupidly mesmerised, planning weddings, pushing prams and relaxing into old age. Or planning dirty weekends and drinking Champagne.

Regardless of the truth, the only thing coming out of our mouths is a big fat yes!

So as a rule, I am incredibly hard on these types, pre-judging them as having little to give except their bodies – and I have not been proved wrong yet!

I love Valentine’s Day. When I am loved up with a partner, usually dinner for two or flowers is all I need. But when I am single, I wake up starring in a Mills and Boon novel, hopeful that “Flavio” will walk into my life and whisk me away from my groundhog day. I have fingers crossed for secret admirer gestures: cards, flowers… anything.

And I am not immune to buying myself a big, beautiful bunch of happy flowers just in case nothing arrives. I know a lot of people poo-who Valentine’s Day as a commercial gimmick, making people do stuff out of guilt, but I couldn’t care less. It’s not about that. It’s a day to show your affection or appreciation for the people in your lives who you care about.

Romantically, it’s for anyone you fancy, and platonically, it’s about friends, family and kids.

It’s a great day to put a spring into someone’s step and you never know – and who knows, your romantic gesture may be returned.

As for me, I want to be showered by flowers so if anyone has a hose, let it rip!

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