Pictures: Michelle Hyslop
Seven years on from starring in the first season of Married At First Sight New Zealand, Benjamin Blackwell is finally engaged to the man of his dreams. Plumber Alexander Mallett is everything Ben asked for and, this time, he’s confident everything will work out – even though his proposal almost didn’t!
Auckland insurance coordinator Ben, 33, had it all planned out. He’d pop the question to Alex, 26, at the top of Roy’s Peak in Queenstown. It would be perfect – the location, the scenery and the romance. All they had to do was get there.
“We started the hike, but then we decided that we couldn’t be bothered,” laughs Ben. “And then I panicked because I thought, ‘How am I going to propose now?’ Alex wanted to go back to the hotel, but I didn’t want to do it there.”
Proposal 2.0
Desperately trying to hide his anxiety, Ben jumped at Alex’s suggestion to drive up to the Remarkables on the way back.
“We got out of the car and it was snowing, so I just proposed then and there, on the side of this cliff,” says Ben. “I was in shorts and had to kneel in the snow!”
Admits Alex, “I was completely surprised. I had no idea he was going to do it.”
Adds Ben, “I mean, I knew Alex would say yes, but I was so, so nervous. I like to be in control and when he didn’t want to do Roy’s Peak, I was like, ‘Damn, I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off!’ But we did. It was cool.”
Ben’s MAFS experience
Back in 2017, when Ben was cast on MAFS, he was hopeful. He specifically requested a tradie husband and put his trust in the experts to find his perfect man.
“They matched me with a paramedic,” laughs Ben, speaking of his failed marriage to Aaron Chisholm, an infamously rocky relationship where Ben was painted as the villain.
He says, “I’ve blacked a lot of it out. When I came off the show, the public was brutal. I thought being gay may have contributed to the hate, but looking back, it transcended homophobia. Being gay was never an issue – it was more my personality!”
The cast of that first season reconnected after the tragic death of their co-star Andrew Jury. Years ago, Andrew created a cast group chat and tried several times to organise a reunion dinner.
“Even after seven years, a lot of our cast still aren’t on talking terms, so it never got off the ground,” reveals Ben. “But after his passing, I went back to this chat to deliver the news he’d passed and we collectively agreed to issue a public statement, which was probably the first time we ever agreed on anything. I’m still unpacking a lot of emotions around it. It’s so sad.”
Looking back on his own experience on the show, Ben recalls going into hiding once filming finished.
He explains, “I didn’t date anyone for about a year. I needed time to breathe. It was only when the second season of MAFS began airing that I started dating again.”
Miraculously, Ben’s first date was with Alex, who recalls, “We just hit it off and we’ve never been apart since. I’m pretty sure I saw Ben every single day after that date.”
The rest is history
Alex, who owns Maverick Plumbing & Gas, had never seen a single episode of MAFS, but his ex-girlfriend was a mega-fan.
He recalls, “We were getting all these funny looks in the bar. I wasn’t even out of the closet at that point and I was like, ‘Why is everyone looking at us?’” When he mentioned Ben’s name to his ex, she explained everything. Alex laughs, “It was an interesting dynamic!”
As MAFS NZ’s first season was the first – and last – in the world to see the participants legally married, Ben has had to officially divorce Aaron in order to get married again. They started proceedings in 2020, but it’s only just been made official.
“I think the experts thought we would try harder if we were actually married,” says Ben. “That clearly didn’t happen! It was a notoriously catty season.”
Ben says the recently finished fourth series of MAFS NZ was the first season he’s watched since his own.
He confesses, “I found it a little lacklustre and a shadow of its former self. I was hoping for more fireworks. I’m so glad that biblical beard [of contestant Mike Wilson] is off my TV!”
Ben and Alex will marry next February at Auckland private members club Northern Club, which will be a suitably luxe and central location for guests coming from around the world.
“We wanted to build it around our guests,” says Ben. “We’ve been to a lot of weddings and the best ones are always set up for the guests to enjoy.”
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