I never could keep up with the Kardashians. I tried. It’s my job. It’s wasn’t snobbery. I loved The Osbournes, which largely consisted of Ozzy Osbourne’s doomed attempts to work the remote while the household’s unlovable dogs defecated on the floor. I watched The Ridges, a series that actively hoovered meaning from the universe. I’m not fussy. But the Kardashians, with their unfiltered pronouncements and DIY bikini waxes, aren’t so much reality television as science fiction.
Lately, despite their feverish antics, Kim, Khloé, Kourtney, etc have been comprehensively upstaged by their father figure: formerly Bruce, now Caitlyn Jenner. She has her own show, I Am Cait. It’s a compelling story, though there are signs the resulting hoopla has upset the delicate Kardashian ego system. “You don’t have to bash us on your way up,” weeps Kim in a teaser.
Back in the 70s, miniseries like Roots and Holocaust showed mass entertainment could help change the world. I Am Cait is doing its 21st-century bit. The scenes in which Jenner’s mother grapples with the change are affecting. “I think he’s a very good-looking woman,” she quavers. She has questions for the expert Jenner’s brought along to explain things: “I’m sure you’ve read the passage in the Bible about if you’re a man and dress like a woman …”
Jenner’s careful to check her considerable privilege: “You also have to realise it’s not this way for everyone,” she says from her luxe Malibu eyrie.
Fair enough. Transgender politics have become a war zone and the thought police are out in force. Women have barely gained the right to use the word “vagina” – Lisa Brown was banned from addressing the Michigan House of Representatives for saying it – and now it’s getting censored again.
The Vagina Monologues was banned by Mount Holyoke College in the US for being not inclusive enough, and actress Martha Plimpton got attacked when she tweeted about an abortion funds benefit called “A Night of a Thousand Vaginas”. “You can’t expect trans folks to feel included by an event title focused on a policed, binary genital,” went one response. Plimpton remained unmoved. “I’m not going to stop using the word ‘vagina’ for anybody, whether it’s Glenn Beck or Mike Huckabee or somebody on Twitter who feels it creates a dysphoric response,” she told The Nation.
The upside? This sort of thing is a sign that significant change is under way. It happened in the 80s, when New Age men discovered sexist language. I was told I couldn’t use the word “manhole” in a story (goodness knows what I was writing about). Yeah? I said. Nah. “Humankind” was an advance, though it excludes aliens. “Ms” stuck because it’s useful and it’s a choice. “Wimin” never really took off.
In I Am Cait, Caitlyn was gracious when even the expert referred to her as “him”. We need to watch our pronouns. But I won’t be calling myself a cis woman, as some activists demand. “Cisgender” is a term, according to the Oxford dictionary, “designating a person whose sense of personal identity corresponds to the sex and gender assigned to him or her at birth”. Some people may want to label themselves that way. It’s the choice of the person wearing the body in question. “Woman” suits me.
How complicated does this stuff get? Free Pride Glasgow had to back down after it banned drag queens from performing on the grounds that they could offend transgender people. Someone needs to design an algorithm to work out the rules.
“I am an expert on my story,” says Jenner. She’s making it up as she goes along. We all are. A new conformity of language and behaviour to replace the old seems like a bad idea. Meanwhile, Jenner’s feeling the pressure, not just from the paparazzi. “Do I project the right image? Am I going to say the wrong things?” she fretted. “I hope I get it right.”
Words by Diana Wichtel
