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Confessions of: A Barista

You will never be rude to your barista again after reading this.

While you are waiting for your morning caffeine hit, spare a thought for the person trying to pump out 35 lattes in 10 minutes.

These are all the thoughts and pet peeves that are going through their mind at this second, according to one inside source.

The best tip you should take after reading this? Never be rude to your barista. (But also, never be rude in general.)

1.“Can I get a quarter packet of sugar in that?” Who you trying to kid?

2.When people ask for extra hot milk, it starts to burn, which ruins the coffee flavour and milk texture. And when you ask for extra hot soy it’s almost definitely going to burn!

3.“Oh sorry, I meant that coffee to be iced. Did I not say iced?” No, you specifically did not.

4.We dread seeing interns or assistants walking in – they’ve always got 164 different coffee orders which take FOREVER.

5.“Are the beans organic?” Reallllly?

6.Some customers will try and show you they have more knowledge than you about coffee – this just isn’t true.

7.“A three-quarter shot decaf soy latte, please.” Orders like this are the bane of our existence. So. Many. Steps.

8.There will always be that one customer that complains about their coffee but still comes back the next day.

9.“Half skim, half full milk please.” If I’m not in a good mood, you’re going to get whatever is in my jug.

10.We try our best to make pretty pictures in your coffee but it’s not as likely to happen with almond milk, for example. Full cream milk is the best for latte art.

11.We get it, you’re in a hurry. But if you try and rush us, your coffee won’t be great. If you want quick coffee, there’s a fast food place down the road.

12.“Is it too late to make mine soy?” “No, but it’ll be an extra 50c.” “Don’t worry then.”

13.“A small coffee, thanks.” Latte, capp, flate white, espresso… WHAT KIND, DAMMIT.

14.If you’re rude and ask for skim, you’re getting full.

15.Without even meaning to, we’re going to judge you on your order.

16.There are those anal customers who ask for three medium-sized ice cubes in their long black, or for their sugar to be stirred anti-clockwise. True story.

17.If you’ve been lining up for a while and get to the counter, you better know what you want to order.

18.There is no greater satisfaction for a barista then pouring out the perfect amount of crema on an espresso, getting the right extraction time on a shot, or having a customer love the new coffee you’ve made.

19.The smell of coffee grinds almost never leaves your skin; it has serious staying power.

Watch: Mum buys coffee for women behind her, despite their insulting comments

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