1 You get home and change into your yoga pants. And then pour a wine.
2 You do the sniff test to check if your kids’ uniforms can go another day without washing.
3 There’s a jar in the fridge with one olive in it. It’s been there for weeks.
4 You communicate by yelling from one end of the house to the other.
5 You feel guilty about using your clothes dryer.
6 You’ve been known to retouch your roots with mascara (only in emergencies, of course).
7 You have a favourite sunny spot to curl up in with a magazine – but you don’t get to sit in it very often.
8 Your family considers Marmite and chippie sandwiches to be a staple food.
9 Your favourite type of wine is whichever one has the biggest discount.
10 You’re adept at sorting out a school shared lunch with five minutes’ notice.
WATCH: The drama of the Real Housewives of Auckland. Story continues after video
11 Now you have a puffer jacket, you don’t know how you ever lived without one.
12 You’ve stood in the rain on school crossing patrol.
13 You like how your gumboots make your thighs look slimmer.
14 Four weeks is never enough time to read a library book.
15 You bulk buy Lindauer ahead of the festive season.
16 Kmart is your new go-to homeware store.
17 You’ve never quite mastered the Edmonds pavlova – but you’ll still make it for the new neighbour.
18 You have a close group of friends you’ve known since your 20s who keep your secrets.
19 You have another group of friends you’ve known since your kids were little who keep you sane.
20 Your home is your sanctuary – even if it isn’t on Paritai Drive.
21 You own 117 cookbooks, yet you always cook the same five meals.
22 None of your tea towels match.
For more, see the November issue of NEXT
