Why I want my little boy to die

Three years after her baby was given three weeks to live, a mum admits her heart is broken.


When Perth mother, Isabella Darch, was told that her baby boy had cancer and only had weeks to live, her heart broke for the first time.

Her son, Bede, was diagnosed with aggressive terminal brain cancer at four months old and three years on, after watching him struggle and suffer every day Isabella’s heart is still breaking for her child, she told the DailyMail.

Months of chemotherapy in hope of buying him time have done just that, but they have not increased his quality of life with constant infections ravaging the little boy. He requires 24-hour care, and feeds through a tube but often requires sedation as he cannot tolerate food.

Bede cannot see or talk and the toll on the family is heavy as they love their little battler as best as they can.


The brave mum penned a beautifully moving post on her blog, The Bede Update, admitting that she just wants her toddler to die so he can be finished with the pain and suffering he has endured in his short life.

“My heart is raw. Because the truth is I want my son to die”’ the mother of three wrote.

“I’m tired. He is tired. I want peace for him, rest. But I instantly hate myself because I know then that is all there will be.

“He will have no more growth, no more moments tenderly reaching out to his brother, laying next to his sister. He won’t squawk away at his dad anymore, he won’t let me kiss him in the way only I can.

“He will just be gone. That is not enough for my special light filled boy. Life is hard but death seems worse.”


The toll on the family has not just been emotional with the expenses for care being stratospheric. Their friends and family have set up a fundraising page on GoFundMe in hope of alleviating a little of the financial stress that is adding pressure to the already stretched family.

“His parents Issy and Roy have been by his side helping him make the most of his life, every step of the way. Trying to make sure every day has good times to counter the bad”, the page reads.

“They have put their whole world on hold, Roy lost his job due to Bede’s high care requirement. They have been dedicated to providing him with as many happy, peaceful, loving moments as possible to try and add some balance to his life.”

“Issy and Roy have now used all their resources and support to get through the last three years, holding their family together and providing Bede with as happy a life as possible.

“We are fundraising to support Bede in having the best quality of life for whatever time he has left.”

Bede’s latest scans revealed that his cancer has progressed once again, and the family have been told he does not have much longer to live, but they know their child has a lion heart and he may continue to fight against the odds.

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