How often have you said to your teenager, “What on Earth were you thinking?” because they’ve done something stupid that proves they obviously weren’t using their brain at all?
The truth is they weren’t thinking – or at least they weren’t thinking properly – because their brains aren’t fully developed. Your teenager may look, talk and sometimes act like they’ve suddenly grown up, but don’t be fooled.
Assuming an adolescent’s brain is like an adult’s but with fewer kilometres on the clock is a big mistake, say scientists. While we used to believe that brain development was complete by the age of 10, research now shows that teenage brains are only around 80% developed and may not start working to full capacity until they are 20 or even 25 years old. Boys’ brains tend to mature later than girls’.
Experts at Harvard Medical School, who have carried out extensive research on the subject, describe the teenage brain as being like an entertainment system that hasn’t been fully hooked up.
All the components are there, but the sound is dodgy because not all the speakers are properly connected to the CD player. Knowing this may help you to understand why your teen behaves the way they do.
Undeveloped wiring leads to limitations
The crucial part that isn’t fully connected to the rest of the brain is called the frontal lobe. This is the part of the brain responsible for a number of functions, including:
Weighing up possible outcomes to situations
Forming judgments
Controlling impulses and emotions
Helping to understand other people’s emotions
While your teen may still be able to do these things, it can take them longer than it would take an adult. This explains behaviour such as having trouble planning for the future, using common sense or understanding the consequences of their actions.
But teenagers are hardwired to seek rewards
One area of a teenager’s brain that does work well is the section that wants pleasure and rewards. It kicks into play pretty early on in life and is a natural part of development – they get a “buzz” from trying new things, so they keep trying more, and this is how they learn.
MRI scans show that teenagers’ brains fire up more than children or adults when they receive medium or large rewards, but there’s barely any change when offered a small reward. This can mean they have a heightened need for sizable rewards or pleasure, which may drive them to do some of the rather reckless and downright stupid things they do, such as taking risks when it comes to driving cars or engaging in sex.
Combine this with the lack of ability to control impulses and use common sense because their frontal lobes aren’t completely up and running, and you can have a recipe for disaster.
Alcohol, drugs and teenage brains are not a good mix
Having a brain that’s tuned to be responsive to everything in their environment can be good in some ways. For example, it can make it easier for teenagers to learn a language or to play a musical instrument.
But it can also make them more vulnerable to addiction to drugs and alcohol. That’s because their brain is like a big sponge that readily soaks up new experiences – and it holds onto things such as the sensation of getting high.
Research shows that it takes teenagers longer to recover from the effects of taking drugs and alcohol than adults. Meanwhile, some studies have found that certain behaviours that affect the brain (for example, drug-taking) are more likely to be maintained throughout life if they are started in the all-important teenage years.
Teenagers don’t always understand how others feel
Because the frontal lobes are not fully connected to the rest of the brain, teenagers aren’t as good at picking up on emotions. When shown pictures of frightened faces, 100% of adults tested immediately identified the emotion as fear, but more than half of the teenagers tested thought the person was sad or angry, rather than scared.
This means they can find it difficult to understand your feelings and may not realise why you might be upset about something they’ve done. You might think they’re being selfish and difficult and yes, they are, but it’s not entirely their fault. It may be due to the fact their brain hasn’t developed to the point where they’re thinking about the effects of their behaviour on others.
What can you do to help?
Bear in mind their limitations and have realistic expectations.
Realise it may take them longer to make decisions.
Prepare them for potential situations and work through ways of dealing with them.
Set rules and make these clear to them. Knowing what is and isn’t allowed can help them control their impulses and make it easier to decide about things they shouldn’t do.
Try to keep them away from drugs and alcohol.
Explain your feelings to them and why things upset you (for example, not being home in time for their curfew makes you worry something might have happened to them). Just don’t expect them to fully empathise!
Be Patient: It may take your teen longer to make decisions.
