The number one reason babies are shaken in New Zealand is because they won’t stop crying. And a single shake can cause brain damage, disabilities, seizures and, in extreme cases, death. Every year around 23 babies are put in hospital as a result of being shaken. In all cases of a baby who won’t stop crying, there are lots of things you can do to calm them, but if none of them work you must walk away and seek help. Here are some tips to calm a crying baby:
Realise that it’s normal for young babies to cry. It’s the only way they have of communicating with you, and they’re not being naughty.
Check the basics if your baby is crying. Are they hungry? Do they need a nappy change? Are their clothes too tight? or is your baby hot or cold or showing signs of illness ? If so, call your doctor.
Pick your baby up and burp them.
If they’re very young, try wrapping them snugly in a cloth to make them feel secure, and hold them firmly close to you.
Put your baby on its left side, to help digestion. Lay them over your knees and rub their back gently. Mr try putting them on their stomach over your knees and gently rubbing their back in a slow circular motion to soothe them.
Carry your baby and walk with a swinging motion up and down the hall.
Give them a relaxing bath.
Sing a lullaby to them or hum in a low tone against your baby’s head. Dads have been known to be particularly good at this.
Consider giving them a dummy to keep them occupied and calm themselves down.
Turn on the dishwasher, clothes dryer or vacuum cleaner. The “white noise” created by these appliances is thought to be a comforting sound for babies, because it sounds like the constant whir of noise in the womb.
Put your baby in a pram and take them for a walk. Ignore looks from passers-by, you know what you’re doing.
Rock your baby in a slow and gentle rhythm in their bassinet or cot.
Strap them into their car seat and go for a drive.
Call a friend or relative to help you and take turns with the baby. Having someone to talk to and try different things with can relieve your stress and calm you down.
Try kissing your baby’s feet. This is a very sensitive spot and the different sensation can often stop them crying as they concentrate on the nice feeling.
Turn on some soothing music and dance with your baby.
If you feel that you’re getting angry and frustrated, put your baby in their cot, check there’s nothing that can hurt them, and leave the room. Put a timer on and give yourself a two-minute break to calm down. Walk outside, take deep breaths and make a cup of tea or coffee, or distract yourself by hanging up washing or gardening. Try to block out the crying and calm yourself down. Don’t pick up your child if you’re angry.
Continue to check on your baby, but if you’re still angry, don’t pick them up. They’re safer in a cot crying than in the arms of a stressed parent.
Call a friend, family member or neighbour to come and take over looking after the baby while you go for a relaxing walk. There’s no shame in asking for help, and your baby will be left with someone who is calm and able to keep an eye on them while you get some space. And sometimes someone else can calm your baby when you can’t.
Never leave your baby in the care of a person who has anger issues or may not have the ability to cope with a crying baby.
If you think you may be in danger of shaking your baby, get some help immediately. You can call the Power to Protect helpline 24/7 on 0800 300 026, or Plunket on 0800 933 922.
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