Real Life

Police rush to “domestic dispute” only to discover a man screaming at a spider

Come on mate, what have you done to her?
domestic dispute

When residents on Sydney’s lower north shore heard a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, you’re dead!” followed by a woman’s hysterical screams, they feared the worst.

Police rushed to the Wollstonecraft apartment to find the “flushed” and “out of breath” man around 2am, Saturday November 21.

“Where’s your wife?” asked one of the policemen.

“I don’t have one,” the homeowner responded, after inhaling some air.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” the officer continued.

“I don’t have one,” he said.

Unsatisfied, the same policeman pressed: “We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I live alone,” the man protested.

The officers then told the man that neighbours had heard death threats, screams and the crash of furniture being flung around the apartment.

“It was a spider,” the man tentatively explained.

“A really big one.”

Incredulous, the policeman asked: “What about the women screaming?”

“Yeah sorry that was me,” he said. “I really, really hate spiders.”

As it turns out, the man was chasing a rather large spider around the unit with a can of Mortein.

After a very long pause, some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider), the police then left.

What a tale!

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