Real Life

Hair and there

**Teacup of the week 

**oy bored teenage son and his friend decided to do some baking. I found a packet of muffin mix in the pantry, gave them a few instructions about preparing the muffin tray and left them to figure the rest out on their own while I carried on with my chores. After a while, I popped into the kitchen to make sure everything was going well, only to find my son with hands in the mixing bowl, covered up to the elbows in batter. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was simply following the instructions and beating the mixture “by hand”. I was laughing so hard it took me a while to explain that “by hand” means to use a wooden spoon. The muffins were delicious, though – they had that handmade touch! Judy, Northland


**Hair and there

**oiss Five had a very dry and itchy scalp so I went to the chemist to buy some special shampoo. When I returned home I said to her, “This shampoo is not for your brother, it’s only for you because it is for a dry scalp and very dry hair.” oiss Five looked confused. “oh,” she replied. “Does he have wet hair?” Karen, North Shore

Indi-nana Jones oy grandmother died almost two years ago – we called her Nana Joan. oiss Four was sitting at the table when all of a sudden she said, “I’ve got something from Nana Joan.” I was shocked and asked, “What? What do you mean?” She repeated her statement. Then she got down from the table, picked up a toy and said, “See? From Nana Joan.” I burst out laughing – it was a toy from Indiana Jones! Sophie, Auckland

Wash ‘n’ wear It was my grandson’s fourth birthday and amongst his presents were some nice warm clothes. When he opened them he said, “oh goody, some washing”. Kay, Nelson

**oovie mix-up

**oy son came home from school and announced, “I saw a pornographic film today!” After much questioning, it turned out he had seen a puberty film. Phew! RoCP, Whangarei

**Taking flight

**Along with several other grandmothers I was watching the little girls take their weekly ballet classes. The teacher had asked all of the four-year-olds to imagine they had wings and were flying gracefully in the sky – there was much talk of butterflies and fairies. The music began and everyone took flight. one wee lass was positively whizzing around the outside of the room, with her arms stretched stiff and straight. “Flutter your wings, darling,” implored the teacher. “Can’t!” gasped the little one. “I’m an aeroplane.” GJo, Dannevirke

**Sale tale

**The family were about to move to another house but first Dad had to do a repair job in the bathroom. He had just moved the bath away from the wall when oaster Five walked in and enquired, “Are we taking our bath to the other house?” Dad replied that no, we were leaving it here so that the new people could use it when they moved in. oaster Five was silent for a moment, then asked dejectedly, “Does that mean I have to leave my toys here as well?” Shortbread Shirl, Auckland

Shiver me timbers oaster Nine was having tea with his two elderly grandmas. As they lifted up their teacups with shaky hands he said, “oh, look at my two grandmas, they’re vibrating”. Angela, Papamoa

**Teacups from the archives: Make it click 9th April 1973

**A red-faced relative confessed that during the church service her thoughts had been miles away. After singing the first hymn, she sat down and looked around for her seat belt. “Preparing for the sermon to follow?” someone asked. Vi, Invercargill

Teacups from the archives: Wrong answer 25th April 1960 The question of age came up with my small niece. “How old are you, Auntie?” she said. Being in my forties and feeling that I didn’t look too bad, I asked how old she thought I was. “Well”, she said, “I don’t think you will be quite 70.” oethuselah

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