Photography: Gracie Sietu, Fiafia Photography.
When Elisha Tamasi was fired from her dream job, she thought she’d lost everything. But today, the 33 year-old has a successful business, thousands of followers on social media and the confidence to present to rooms full of people.
Losing her gig as a flight attendant was a devastating blow, but it ultimately changed the course of Elisha’s life for the better.
“If I didn’t get fired, I might still be following the crowd and trying to get external validation,” explains Elisha, who is of Niuean and Ngaā puhi descent.
Growing up in Auckland, her focus was on “getting out”.
“Ever since I was a little girl, I’d wanted to become a flight attendant,” she recalls.
“As a child, I didn’t have vacations. I’d never been on a plane before. We were quite poor – we lived in state housing and we had food grants. “When I got my dream job, I felt like I cracked it. I’d got out of the hood. Then I got fired and my whole world came tumbling down.”
The dismissal happened following a night out in Los Angeles before a flight.
She admits, “I drank too much, was vomiting and had to be wheelchaired to my hotel room. One of my colleagues called in sick for me.”
Hitting rock bottom
In the investigation that followed, Elisha lost not only her job, but also the new identity she’d created.
“I felt like such a failure,” she says.
“How was I going to go home and tell my family, all because I made a silly mistake?”
Moving to Melbourne for a fresh start, away from friends and family, Elisha’s behaviour became destructive.
“I was attracting really bad friendships, I was in bad relationships, I was at a bad job, I was getting into drugs, drinking alcohol and numbing out on life.”
Desperate for change, she turned to an old fix – trying to lose weight.
“I was in my room cryingand I remember thinking, ‘I just need to lose weight and everything will be OK.’”
It was a familiar pattern. Ever since Elisha was 11, she’d tried time and again to drop kilos. But this time, when she went online to figure out how to shed weight quickly, something else stood out.
“For the first time, I stumbled over a life coach,” tells Elisha.
“I started bingeing her work and she taught this framework of, ‘Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions and your actions create your results.’ I realised I was walking around with lots of subconscious thoughts that were ruining my life.”
Taking back control
Starting to journal helped her become more aware of her thoughts and that gave Elisha a sense of power.
“I realised that if I take responsibility for my life, I can change it. I moved into my own house, and I stopped smoking, drinking and doing drugs.”
While sharing her experiences online, Elisha found herself attracting interest from women who had observed her personal transformation. Initially running workshops from home, she eventually trained to become a life coach herself and launched her business, So Extra.
“I became kind of known in the Melbourne community as the life coach who works with self-love and confidence,” she says.
Still, Elisha longed for more, until one day she stopped and asked herself a question: “If I was to die tomorrow, would I be happy with the life that I lived?” And that was the moment I realised I actually wouldn’t be because all my family was in New Zealand.”
Moving home to be with her whānau, Elisha – one of seven siblings – was armed with a new sense of purpose.
“I run these games days for my family now, and we’re all connecting and laughing, and we sing and we dance. I sit there and just cry. Everyone’s like, ‘Are you alright?’ and I just say, ‘I’m so happy.’”
Finding her identity
She says finding her self-confidence has helped her connect with a key part of her identity – her Māori and Niuean whakapapa.
“Identity is so important because when you know who you are, you show up in rooms differently.”
As her confidence grew, Elisha joined a Niuean group and a kapa haka rōpū, the latter leading her to perform as the opening act for award-winning Kiwi singer Marlon Williams.
She enthuses, “We went to the Sydney Opera House and they gave me a role introducing a song.”
Her message to other women is simple – to create the life you want, stop chasing and conforming.
She explains, “If you’re trying to get your dream job, make more money or want a smaller body, ask yourself, ‘What is it that you need? What do you want from life? What does a good-quality life look like to you?’ You’re worthy as you are. This is your birthright.”
Follow Elisha on Instagram @soextra.co.
