“If my personal story of binge drinking my way through life is anything to go by, the age people can legally drink doesn’t make much difference. I am a 55-year-young “binge drinker”. When I started my years of partying as a 16-year-old flatting in Napier, the legal age for drinking was 21.
I would be drinking from Wednesday to Sunday and we always had ways to get alcohol. I hope by telling my story I can touch a few people’s lives. I’m not ashamed to admit this – because of my drinking I suffered blackouts, loss of memory, weight gain, depression, an abortion, a miscarriage after unprotected sex and a continuous feeling of worthlessness.
I was subjected to date rape, gang rape, unsafe sex, humiliation and ridicule. I became known as “easy” in the eyes of men. I would wake up after a night of bingeing or partying – whichever way you wish to look at it – in strangers’ beds, in gutters, or on someone’s front lawn.
If it was still the weekend I would start drinking again – better known as “the hair of the dog”. It suited me, as it got rid of my hangover and the feelings of guilt about not knowing what I had done during my binge.
I left New Zealand at the age of 22 for Sydney. It was even easier to drink there because you could buy alcohol on a Sunday, whereas you couldn’t in New Zealand. Plus there were more hotels and clubs. The Aussies had fun watching me make a fool of myself.
I stopped drinking twice during my bingeing years – when I was pregnant with my two beautiful children (now aged 26 and 28), who were born in Sydney, but I was back to drinking as soon as they were born.
I have been married and divorced twice, lost a house and have started and failed at two businesses. I have always been employed, but only at jobs that didn’t require too much thought because it would have been hard for me to concentrate.
The point of my story is that far from being a “teenage binge drinker”, I am a true example of an “adult binge drinker”. I would deny thoughts about being an alcoholic. I didn’t need a drink first thing in the morning and could hold down a job, so I felt I didn’t come under the label of an “alcoholic”.
But in 2005, one unforgettable night in Brisbane changed my life forever. It was a send-off for a workmate and we began the evening with drinks at a friend’s place, so I was very tiddly before I even arrived at the Brisbane casino. At the casino I continued drinking by sculling stubbies of beer through a straw, a quick way to become wasted.
This was about 8.30pm. I have no memory of the rest of the evening until I woke up on the footpath outside a nightclub at around 1am. I went up to ask the bouncers if they had seen my friends and they informed me they were inside and I had not been allowed in, as I was too intoxicated.
I argued with the bouncer and started swearing at him and he called the police. I then clearly remember swearing at a police officer. I also remember the look in his eyes as if to say, “this is a disgusting state for a woman”. I was 48 when I stopped drinking.
Over the past seven years I have tried to drink in moderation twice at a BBQ or celebration, but each time I’ve have been aware that I can’t stop at one drink. The only way I can live is without drinking alcohol and learning to enjoy social gatherings sober.
I do support drinking in moderation, but I also believe the country would benefit from an alcohol-free day. It would allow people to take a step back from our drinking culture and it would be interesting to see how easy it could be for some people. Society might also benefit from greater control of the sale of alcohol.
When I stopped drinking I lost 17kg, my memory improved and I recently achieved a Certificate
IV in accounting at an adult education facility in Sydney.
Today I’m grateful I was not badly hurt physically after the places I have been, and I haven’t been infected with Aids from unsafe sex. I have a healthy liver, heart and kidneys, and the only part of me that may be damaged is my mind due to loss of brain cells from the amount of alcohol I consumed at an early age.
My children have suffered from my drinking because they grew up witnessing my behaviour as an everyday part of life. They have travelled down the same road I took and I blame myself for their copycat behaviour.
At least today, sober, I am their biggest support when it comes to advice and experience. They’re only young and I can assist them to get through it earlier – they’ve got me on their side.”
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