Pictures: Eva Bradley.
Finding true love once is something most of us aspire to, but newlyweds Bob and Jacqui Quilliam went a step better and found it twice… with each other!
Forty years after they got married and 20 years after their divorce, the Hastings couple recently exchanged vows for the second time in a heartfelt ceremony in their backyard, surrounded by many of the friends and family who had witnessed the first celebration.
“Looking at Bob as I walked down the aisle towards him the second time felt even more special,” reflects Jacqui, 68. “Our love as an older couple feels so solid compared to how we felt about each other when we were younger.”
The bubbly travel agent admits she never stopped loving her husband, but the challenges of raising a family had taken its toll on their relationship and led them to split as their two daughters, Sarah and Anna, grew up and prepared to leave home.
“We just lost ourselves along the way and allowed certain stresses to get in the way of it all,” admits Jacqui.
While busy lawyer Bob moved offshore to Australia to embark on a new life as a single man and Jacqui had other relationships that didn’t go the distance, the couple remained connected through their kids.
Modern technology allowed them to rekindle their romance. Bob and Jacqui began messaging each other in 2017, which led to a Valentine’s Day gift of Champagne and chocolate from Bob.
Jacqui laughs, “I still have all of our messages and it was in February 2020 that we decided to make it official. Bob said, ‘Is it OK to tell Sarah and Anna that we are reconciling, so I can proudly introduce you as my ex-wife and current partner?’”
Fast-forward four years and the couple started planning their second wedding. Bob says, “We wanted it to be small and low-key, but everyone we told wanted to come, so in the end, it was much bigger than we had intended.”
As a nod to the past, Jacqui’s original flower girls, now in their forties, skipped down the aisle for a second time, with the long ’80s-style dresses they had worn altered to become tops.
To add to her original engagement and wedding rings, Bob gave Jacqui an eternity ring, and their two daughters were witnesses.
“It was overwhelming after everything we’ve been through, but this time around, we know it will definitely be till death do us part,” enthuses Jacqui.
The couple was tested on the “for better or worse, in sickness and health” vows far sooner than they had expected, with Bob rushed to hospital for life-saving surgery after a gall bladder infection turned to sepsis just three weeks after their wedding.
“He was in ICU for almost a week,” shares Jacqui. “Doctors told us to get Anna home from Perth in case he didn’t make it. The experience reinforced just how important it was to have committed to each other.”
Now well again and happily settled into life as a retired newlywed in his seventies, Bob has had the chance to reflect on what marriage means and has some good advice for younger married couples.
“It’s so easy when you have children and busy lives to forget about each other,” he says. “What you need to do is always make each other the priority because children grow up and leave. But when that happens, you need to ensure that you’ve invested in your own relationship.”
That investment these days includes a gin and tonic waiting for Jacqui every evening as she walks in the door after work, plus regularly cooking for her. The loved-up pair will soon depart on a luxury honeymoon cruise, followed by a trip to Europe later in the year.
In the meantime, they’re perfectly content to enjoy the simple routines of daily life as a married couple.
“We’ve got 20 years to make up for, so the fun starts now!” laughs Bob.
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