Dear Wendyl,
I have just moved into a new rental property. I’m 44, single and live on my own, and I have met a very nice new neighbour. He’s single, 42 and lives with his son.
He made me feel welcome and seemed a friendly, helpful family man, which is exactly what I’m looking for in a friendship. The only problem is that I also feel attracted to him and this makes me feel uneasy with excitement.
Because we’re neighbours, we often catch glimpses of each other. We say hello and make some small talk with each other, but that’s about it. I am wondering whether I should let him know how I feel or just carry on as if I don’t have any feelings for him, or wait for him to make his move first? I think he finds me attractive. Could you please help me decide what steps I should take from here?
*
Donna, by email*
Dear Donna,
I don’t know if you’ve heard of the saying, “Good things come to those who wait,” but it’s a very apt one for your situation. I know it can often be exciting and romantic to imagine getting together with your neighbour, however, if you rush it you risk turning what could be a very lovely friendship into a total embarrassment.
I suggest you take it up a notch. First, invite him over for a coffee, and then maybe a drink. Use these times as opportunities to become more familiar with each other.
You might also want to offer to babysit for him and show him what a good, supportive friend you are. Through this increased contact, the two of you will soon see whether there’s anything more to your relationship or not and one of you will make a move.
But please let it take time to mature.
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