Dear Wendyl,
I’m worried I’ve married into a family of alcoholics. At our wedding six months ago my husband’s mother threw up in the hedge during the speeches, his father took a swipe at one of the waiters, his sister crashed behind the bar and his brother got so drunk the night before he went missing and didn’t even turn up. Everyone thinks this is all very hilarious, including his family, but I think it’s appalling and they have a serious problem. Fortunately my husband doesn’t drink a lot, but I’m worried he might in years to come.
Sam, via email
Dear Sam,
I’m with you on the problem drinking in that family. They do seem to have normalised a behaviour which is anything but normal. But you’re not going to change it, so accept that. You can be supportive of your husband if he’s worried about it, but there is no way you are going to be able to march into that family, who obviously have addiction issues, and get them sobered up. So accept them for who and what they are, model safe and responsible drinking yourselves and make sure you are there if they need you, when and if one or all of them decide they need help. And don’t keep going on about your husband, because the fact that he has emerged out of that family so well will have taken a lot of effort from him. The last thing he needs is you moaning that he’ll turn out just like them.
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