Whether you’re back in the dating game after coming out of a relationship or you’ve been single for a while, there are a few rules you need to know to get by.
There are the obvious ones like don’t drink too much and don’t talk about your ex, but there are other unwritten rules if you want to get past the first date with someone you like.
People like authenticity, advises body mind analyst Suzanne Masefield. You need to be yourself, and confidently so. But at the same time you have to be careful about not playing all of your hand at once, she says.
We all have boundaries, which we need to set, however we need to be equally as mindful about not stepping over others, she explains. So the trick is to not give away too much, but at the same time not give away too little.
Do tell them about yourself, for example – job, interests, family and friends (just remember the anagram JIFF) – but don’t tell them about your problems, says Masefield. It’s way too early for that.
Do be modest, but not so modest you put yourself down. If you can’t love and appreciate yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? she asks.
Do get into deal breakers like whether you want children – yes, really, in the first week or two, Masefield suggests – because these things are important. They can make or break a relationship. But you’re only touching on what’s important to you, don’t start making plans for babies just yet!
Do show them you’re interested – but give them something to look forward to, if you know what we mean. We all like a little mystique.
In this video, Suzanne Masefield names nine of the most commonly made dating mistakes. If you watch this and realise you’ve made them all, don’t worry – most of us have. But at least you’ll know what to do next time. You’ll also have a clearer idea about what you want out of your next date too.
Good luck!
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