April Ieremia: ‘To matchmake or not to matchmake?’

Matchmaking is an art form, a God-given gift that elevates the rare individual who possesses the skill to a level of genius. It’s a brave person that chooses to venture through the psyche of another, believing they have what it takes to make the other happy.

I am not one such person – but when I am happy I want everyone around me to be happy too. If that means getting out the matchmaking wand then I do.

How many times do we set up friends hoping the affair will last longer than a night? Or that the angst over a potential suitor isn’t a waste of energy? Too often it turns south before we get to enjoy the excitement of knowing they would be perfect for each other, because they cant leave fear, fussiness or both at the door!

Let’s be honest: it’s often near impossible to be a successful ‘wingman’ or a matchmaker because humans are complex creatures. We are all fickle, indecisive and all quite deluded when it comes to deciding whats best for us. Some more than others.

Personally I have never been the subject of matchmaking, largely because I am usually the instigator of match ups. Sure, I have had the odd suitor who with an ounce of courage, plus some prodding by their mates, calls me for a date and I have gone along like a desperate lamb to the slaughter. But more often than not, I am not what they are looking for with my opinionated banter, sarcastic wit, propensity to eat too quickly and likelihood to amuse myself at their expense. The lads have been lovely, but just not my cup of tea. So i restrict myself to the realm of fixing up rather than being fixed up.

It can be hard finding a pool of blokes to throw at your girlfriends, sometimes harder than looking for a needle in the haystack. But it always helps if you tap into your partner or male friends. Once that source is exhausted, it’s time to open your eyes and just mention your hot friend to the bloke standing in front of you.

And there lies another problem, the mismatch of perception.

I find that when I talk up my girlfriends to the new bloke, she comes out sounding like a rockstar, guaranteeing a call by the time I am finished. But we forget that blokes are from a different planet and they don’t care about the “inner beauty” of potential girlfriends, only the outer. I know that sounds brutal but it’s true. As visual creatures who latch onto the physical before the mental, then move to the emotional before finishing with the spiritual, men need to feel it and it usually starts in their eyeballs. If not, you are pushing s@!t uphill.

So to do it or not to do it, that’s the question!

In New Zealand, match making is not a big thing like the arranged marriages of India. But lending a helping hand to a friend in need is sometimes just as important.

You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. So if the oasis standing in front of them isn’t quite the thirst quencher, ask yourself: can their thirst ever be quenched? (Unresolved issues)

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