DOG-GONE IT!
Dear Jay-Jay,
I’m a dog mum. My evenings and weekends used to be spent taking little Molly to our favourite beach spots, chilling on the couch and making the most of our time together. However, my partner and I recently moved in with his retired parents to try to save some money…
They’re incredibly generous for allowing us to stay, they absolutely love Molly, and we’re saving so much on dog walkers and doggy daycare. The problem is, I feel like they’ve taken ownership of Molly. In my evenings and weekends, Molly is nowhere to be found as my mother-in-law takes her on long walks, errands, beach trips and social outings without asking us about our plans.
Our time together is precious as I already see so little of her with my job. Yet if I say anything, my MIL will argue that Molly enjoyed herself, so no need to be upset. She also feeds Molly treats for nearly every meal, even though the vet has said she needs to lose a little bit of weight. And most annoyingly, she’s also given Molly a nickname that bears no relation to the name I chose for her and our friends now refer to her this way!
My partner backs me up completely but doesn’t want to push the issue because the advantages of being able to save money far outweigh the negative. However, I’d love some advice on setting some boundaries, especially because my MIL is now also asking for grandchildren – imagine how they’d spoil a human baby!
Dog Mum, Wellington
Hi Dog Mum,
I have a fur-baby too, so I feel your pain. I’m guessing your MIL is retired, which is why she has so much time to spoil your dog, and I think this is all very innocent – your MIL just loves Molly. Maybe the dog is filling a wee void in her lonely life – especially since you haven’t given them grandchildren yet! I don’t think she means to steal her from you.
I’m pretty sure your MIL would be mortified if she knew she’d crossed the line, so you’re going to have to tread carefully. It’s your dog, so either you or your partner just need to tell your in-laws that you love the relationship they have with Molly, but it’s very important that she no longer feeds her. Give her the opportunity to feed her one treat a day if she must, but make this clear.
If you need to, move Molly’s bowls. Also, be firm where Molly sleeps. (Near you, I’m guessing.)
You don’t want to rock the boat while you have such a great opportunity to save for your future, but try to speed things up in that department, so you can have your freedom – and your dog – back as soon as possible! Maybe, as a parting gift, you can get your MIL her own wee pup?
Good luck, Jay-Jay
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