Tough Decision
Dear Jay-Jay,
I can’t believe I’m writing to you, but I literally have no idea who else to confide in.
I’m 29 and I’ve been with my partner for six years. I love him, but I cheated on him – a few times. Now I’m pregnant and it’s not my partner’s baby.
I don’t know what to do. I need to figure it out before I start showing. The father is just a fling. He’s not boyfriend material and my partner will be so angry if he finds out about this. Should I have an abortion? Should I confess? Please help me decide.
Blondie, Hamilton
Kia ora, Blondie!
Oh, this is so hard. I’m sorry you are in this predicament. I’m nervous to give you the wrong advice, so I hope my guidance will help you come up with the answer yourself.
Firstly, do you want this baby? That is the first and most important question to answer because it actually doesn’t matter at this stage about the men in your life until you have answered this. If you do not want the baby, I would suggest not telling either man and going straight to the doctor. Talk to them about your options. They will probably suggest a bit of counselling, which I would absolutely recommend you seek. This is a life-changing situation and whatever you decide to do, it will affect you for ever.
If you want to keep the baby, my advice is not going to be easy to take. You should tell your partner first. You have to. You owe it to him and you will not be able to hide it for much longer. Have a friend with you for support if you are afraid of his reaction, but he has to know.
Definitely do not lie to him and make him think the baby is his. The truth will come out eventually. It always does and that will be catastrophic for everyone, including your child.
I think you will know what to do after you have spoken with your partner because, ultimately, whatever he decides will determine your next step.
I’m sure you will make the right decision for you and your baby. Whatever happens, though, take care of yourself.
Good luck, Jay-Jay
A problem shared is a problem halved! Send your sticky issues to Jay-Jay – email [email protected].
