What happens when we die? According to many people who have been on the verge of death – including some who’ve been clinically dead then brought back to life – we don’t cease to exist after taking our final breath. Instead, we go to a place where there’s an incredible feeling of love and peace, they say. Some talk about bright lights, of seeing long-dead loved ones and of being able to look down and see what’s happening to their body as they move between this life and the next. Others say they’ve seen key moments of their lives flash before their eyes.
Known as near-death experiences (NDEs), these occurrences are reported frequently. Recently, the Weekly brought you a story about Kiwi medium Kelvin Cruickshank, who says he “crossed over” after a heart attack. The Sensing Murder star says he went to a place that was peaceful and made him feel an overwhelming sense of bliss. He saw his late father and a friend, who told him it was not his time and he had to go back.
We had a huge response on social media to Kelvin’s story, with readers sharing their own NDEs. Here are some of their stories and a look at what the experts say about NDEs.
Marilynn’s story
The birth of my third baby went smoothly – I delivered him myself – until the placenta wouldn’t come out. The midwives tried several times, then decided to take me to theatre for a manual removal. Everyone was so focused on the baby, they hadn’t noticed I’d gone very quiet.
As I was wheeled to pre-op, I could feel blood gushing from between my legs. Still, nobody noticed, and I couldn’t communicate what was happening. When they pulled the blanket back, blood splashed onto the floor. The midwife ran for the “help” button, and it was all on with doctors and nurses rushing about. There was just so much blood.
Leaving the body
During this time, I left my body. I was above because I could look down on them working on me. I was in a white light – the most utterly beautiful, peaceful white light. There was no beginning or end to “me” and I was overcome with a sense of love. I knew in that moment that nothing mattered in life except that I had loved and been loved.
I thought of the son I’d just delivered and worried for him. It was somehow communicated to me that we all have our unique life experiences, that if his path was to have no mother, then that would be a part of the fabric of his story. At that point, I went down the hallway to check on him. I could later accurately describe what was happening with people in that other room.
I didn’t talk with any lost loved ones, nor have a moment where I was told that I must “go back”. I just returned to my body, where panic still ensued as the staff worried I would die. I knew I would survive. It was years before the vividness of that incredible experience left me. Sometimes I think if we each had an NDE every decade or so, the world would be a very different place.
Lisa’s story
I nearly drowned when a small boat I was in capsized in rough water and I got trapped under it. I was wearing a life jacket but couldn’t get to the surface. I was panicking and thrashing around. Then suddenly I felt very calm and went still. The water went from being dark to bright blue, like a light was shining into it. It was so peaceful. They say that when you’re dying, your life flashes before your eyes and that’s kind of what happened to me.
It was like I could see a reel of my life – I saw images of my family and my closest friends. I saw myself as a child, playing in our garden. Then a friend realised I was still under the water, grabbed me and pulled me out. I remember lying there, gasping for breath and thinking, “What just happened?”
I don’t think I technically died but I was probably close to it. The feeling of calm was really comforting and I hope that’s how it feels when my time does come.
Charlotte’s story
A glimpse beyond the veil
I was seriously injured after being badly beaten. I don’t remember the attack at all, I just remember floating in this white light. I can’t even describe the level of love that I felt – it’s not something that you experience here. All I can say is that it felt like love in its ultimate form.
I didn’t have a body; I was weightless. It was like feeling no boundaries. I had no burdens. I just felt at peace. As I was going up into the light, I recall seeing my favourite uncle and my tupuna [ancestors]. They were there strong, holding space for me. They gave me a message. They said, “Don’t worry about your destiny – we’ve got it sorted.”
Then I started thinking about my kids and had a kind of panic attack. I said to myself, “No, not now. My children.” In that moment, it was like a vortex pulled me back to my body. It was as if I realised what was going on.
Back in my body
Then I was back in my body on the side of the road. I waved a car down, and the driver stopped and helped me. Later, a policeman said to me, “One more hit and you’d be dead.” This happened more than 20 years ago and I can still remember everything I experienced so clearly. You don’t forget something like that. It took a very long time for me to tell anyone about it – you don’t want people thinking you are nuts or on drugs, which I wasn’t.
I think about the message from my tupuna all the time. I do still worry about my destiny, I can’t help that. But it helps to know that you are supported. And it helps me to trust the process and not base my decisions on fear. What happened to me has given me comfort that when my time comes, it will be okay.
Paula’s story
I had a severe reaction to an antibiotic and went into anaphylaxis. It was horrible – I couldn’t breathe and got very panicky. Thankfully, I was at work. If it had happened when I was alone at home, I would not be here today. One of my co-workers took me to the emergency doctor.
I was in a bad way, my organs were starting to shut down. They put me on a bed and I remember suddenly feeling very serene. It was quite surreal – it was the most peaceful I have ever felt. It’s hard to explain. It was like I had been drugged with a sedative, but the only thing they gave me was adrenaline and it doesn’t make you feel like that.
I found out later that I was pretty close to dying. Having gone through that experience, I don’t fear dying at all. I know it will be peaceful.
Did you know?
Around a quarter of those who’ve had an NDE say they looked down on their body from above.
What the experts say
NDEs have been the subject of many studies over the years, including those carried out by scientists looking for biological reasons why people experience euphoria, feel like they’ve left their body or see
dead loved ones when they’re dying.
Last year, an international team of researchers joined forces to create Neptune (neurophysiological evolutionary psychological theory understanding near-death experience), which theorises that NDEs are the result of a brain that’s under stress – for example suffering a lack of oxygen – and triggers a cascade of feel-good chemicals like serotonin, dopamine and endorphins. This storm of brain chemicals can cause vivid hallucinations and feelings of peace, they say.
Different parts of the brain shutting down may also be responsible for other sensations, like feeling you are no longer in your body, they suggest. However, a near-death researcher from the University of Virginia says Neptune’s theories don’t explain many of the complex parts of what some people go through when they nearly die.
Where the theory falls short
Psychiatrist Dr Bruce Greyson points out that hallucinations due to neurological reasons typically only involve a single sense, like sight, whereas people who’ve had NDEs report all of their senses being involved. And while people don’t generally remember hallucinations, they can recall every aspect of their NDE decades later.
Fellow NDE expert Dr Jeffrey Long – a radiation oncologist who became fascinated by NDEs after hearing about a friend’s first-hand experience – set up the Near-death Experience Research Foundation (NDERF) and the website nderf.org, which has collected the stories of thousands of people who’ve “crossed over” and come back to tell the tale.
He says many of the experiences people have shared are medically inexplicable. Drugs can’t be held responsible as many people weren’t on medication when they “died”. One of the reasons he believes NDEs are evidence there is life after death is how consistent people from around the world are about what they saw and felt.
“We have received accounts of NDEs translated from over 30 languages and they are strikingly similar, whether the person is Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or atheist. There’s no pattern of prior beliefs or life experience that would explain what is happening, which tells me these are indeed real and other- worldly experiences.”
What happens in an NDE?
The most commonly reported experiences include:
- A feeling of extreme calm and euphoria. Many people describe a state of bliss or pure love.
- Leaving your body and looking down on it as you move away from life. Some people have correctly described what was going on in the room and nearby.
- Seeing deceased loved ones and being able to communicate with them, not always by speaking, but understanding each other’s thoughts.
- Feeling like you no longer have a body, but are a weightless being.
- Being drawn towards bright light or surrounded by it. But not everyone experiences this – some people have talked about being in the dark.
- Seeing events from your life and special people “flash before your eyes”.
- Being told – or otherwise just knowing – that it is not your time and you have to go back.
