For many couples, it’s the most special and memorable days of their lives. But getting married can also be one of the most eye-wateringly expensive ones, leaving newlyweds deep in debt. According to several sources, most Kiwis tend to spend between $30,000 and $45,000.
While it’s possible to tie the knot and celebrate afterwards on as little as $5000, at the other end of the scale, hiring out a whole location like a vineyard or having functions over several days can push the total up to over $70,000 or $80,000. One wedding planner believes it’s not unusual for Kiwi newlyweds to get bills of around $87,000 for their big days.
Finding thousands of dollars to pay for a single event is difficult for many, so they have to get creative when it comes to keeping costs down while still having a wedding they’ll never forget. Yvette Reid has celebrated nearly 17 years as a celebrant and says more couples are now thinking outside the square about their nuptials and how much they want to spend.
“Some people are still having big weddings with everything included, but as a trend, smaller weddings and cheaper ones are definitely up, especially since Covid. A lot of people had to have smaller weddings because of the pandemic and financial reasons, and they went, ‘Actually, that was fine.’ There were people who eloped and planned to have a big ceremony later on, but decided they didn’t need it – their little elopement was fine. “For a lot of people, there has been a change in mindset. They see they can still have a wedding that is special to them without having to spend a huge amount of money.”
How to cut costs on your wedding
♥ Reduce your guest list
The reception is often the most expensive part of a wedding – if you have 120 guests and the catering charge is $80 a head, that’s $9600 right away. Paring back your guest list can slash your final bill.
“When I started as a celebrant, 120 to 150 people was the norm and 80 guests would be considered a small wedding,” explains Yvette.
“Now 80 is considered normal or even a larger wedding. I’m seeing a lot more weddings with 60 guests and plenty with even less than that.”
♥ Get married off-peak
Many wedding suppliers, including venues, caterers and photographers, charge lower prices if you book them during the week or in the colder months.
“There has been a massive surge in week-day weddings in the past couple of years,” notes Yvette.
“I’ve done weddings on Mondays and Wednesdays, which I never used to do. That can save a lot of money, although it can be inconvenient for guests to have to take time off during the week. But if they’re not willing to do that, then that helps with cutting the guest list down!”
♥ Ask about deals
Many wedding suppliers offer a variety of packages, but if you’re on a tight budget, finding the right option at a price you can afford can be tricky. Ask if they can create a tailored deal, especially if you’re marrying in an off-peak period when your business is valuable—they may be more willing to be flexible.
For example, rather than paying for the photographer to be there all day, you might be able to negotiate to have them just for the ceremony and a shoot afterwards, keeping the costs down to just a couple of hours.
♥ Work out your priorities
Weddings should be personal to the couple and not influenced by other people’s expectations, points out Yvette. She suggests couples ask themselves, “What do we really care about?”
Yvette says, “For some people, good food is important, so they’d rather spend money on that and cut back on things like the music, so they have a playlist from their phone and a speaker. For others, good music is essential – it gives the vibe, so they want to pay for a live band and they’d rather spend less on the food. I’ve seen weddings where they’ve had food trucks or even pot-luck meals and spent the money elsewhere.”
♥ Consider having a unique or surprise wedding
Often people feel their wedding has to meet certain expectations, but one way of avoiding that – and keeping the bill down – is doing something unorthodox, if that suits your personalities. For example, getting all of your favourite people together for an event like a birthday party, then springing a wedding on them can work out cheaper because you can forego elements of traditional nuptials.
Yvette loved officiating for a couple who were moving overseas and told their guests they were throwing a leaving party.
Yvette recalls, “They invited all their nearest and dearest. The groom gave a speech and said, ‘We’re getting married now’, and everyone was like, ‘What?!’ It was amazing, joyful and there were no expectations of, ‘Where’s my sit-down dinner?’ because it wasn’t your typical wedding. It was very cool.”
Bespoke bride Yvette’s tips
When it came to her own wedding last year, celebrant Yvette had plenty of ideas about what she wanted for her big day, gleaned from ceremonies she’d officiated over the years. Some of
the things she did to make the occasion easier on her bank account, as well as more personal, include:
- Keeping the guest list down to 34 people. “Being more intimate felt special, like you could feel the love a bit more because it was genuinely about us and the very closest people to us.”
- Hiring an indoor venue via Sharedspace and decorating it with homemade giant paper flowers and faux meadow flowers.
- Having the reception at a restaurant where food, drink and service were all covered by one bill, without having to hire caterers, staff and items like crockery separately.
- Getting the bus from the ceremony to the reception as both locations were on the same route. “We loved catching the bus. It was so ‘us’ to do something so simple and convenient.”
- Having a cake comprised of a small cake for cutting on the top tier, then donuts on the bottom that guests could take away for breakfast the next morning.
One particularly lovely touch was what Yvette calls a “guest bouquet”. Instead of hiring a florist, she asked invitees to bring a flower or piece of greenery.
“I said you can buy it from a supermarket on your way or cut it from your garden. They put them in a vase on the way in 30 minutes before the ceremony and a friend put them together in a bouquet for me to carry as I walked in. “It had far more meaning and I knew people could look at it and go, ‘There’s my flower.’”
Did you know? 47 percent of newlyweds are aged 30 to 39.
Bridesmaid in debt
Asking members of the bridal party to pay for their own dresses or suit hire has become common. Yvette says it’s fine if bridesmaids can pick reasonably priced dresses they’ll actually wear again. But it’s unfair to expect them to spend a small fortune on an outfit that will end up buried in the back of a wardrobe.
And if they also have to pay for expenses, like make-up and hairstyling, it can put them under financial strain. Retail manager Tessa, who has been a bridesmaid three times, says the last wedding left her in debt.
“I paid $375 for a dress I hated, $250 for shoes I’ve never worn again and several hundred dollars for hair, make-up, nails and a fake tan. Then there was the hen weekend at a spa and accommodation for the wedding, which was out of town. “If I get asked to be a bridesmaid again, I’m going to say, ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’”
Guests cough up
Earlier this year, a bride and groom were slammed online after a guest revealed they’d all been asked to pay $75 for their meals to “help offset costs”.
The guest said the request made them feel awkward and they wouldn’t be going to the wedding because they couldn’t afford that amount.
One commenter said, “I think this is atrocious. The best way to offset costs is to not spend so much.”
Weekly readers say
What do you wish you’d done to save money at your wedding?
Not let my father-in-law invite his golfing mates. We’d have saved a fortune on alcohol. – Jackie
Done the table arrangements myself. Hydrangeas and lilies from my nana’s garden would have been just as good. – Lou
Had fewer guests and a smaller venue. Served just beer and wine, and not included spirits. Taken my uncle up on his offer to use his classic car instead of paying for a limousine. – Gemma
What are you glad you spent money on?
I had my dress made by a well-known designer and there’s a good reason why her gowns are expensive. It looked stunning, fitted like a glove and I felt amazing. – Rachel
A really good photographer. She was expensive, but the pictures are gorgeous and they will last a lifetime. – Lou
I have a big family and a lot of friends, so the reception was massive. But it was important to me to have everyone there and I loved sharing such a special day with people who have been a part of my life. – Makere
We had a two-person video team, which seemed excessive, but they did a fantastic job of capturing all the special moments. Because there were two of them, they could film people’s reactions, as well as the action. – Denise
A wedding planner. My mother-in-law paid for her, knowing how disorganised I am and how stressed I get. Our planner saved me from losing it several times. – Kate
