Judge Jay-Jay helps a lonely single look for love

More FM radio diva Jay-Jay Feeney delivers her verdict on your biggest dilemmas


Dear Jay-Jay,
I’m finally ready to find someone to spend my life with, but for some reason, the only males who approach me are those who ask why I’m “not wifed up yet” at 2am through Facebook messenger – or those in their late forties who still wear glasses in the dark at drum ’n’ bass concerts.

Where can I find an intelligent man who will stimulate my mind and take me on adventures?

Preferably someone with a good job, and empathy for others and animals!

Confused & Single,
Kāpiti Coast

Hi Confused & Single,
I know the type! It’s obvious why they themselves are not “hubbied up yet”! A good man is hard to find – this is true – but they are out there. I think you need to do some research.

Start by asking every perfect couple you know how they first met. You may be surprised at the answers. In my experience, most of the good ones meet by chance, when they weren’t actively looking for love. I know this doesn’t help you, but I want to encourage you to try to enjoy being single for a bit and be social!

Go to every dinner party, birthday lunch or day at the beach that anyone invites you to. This is where you’ll meet people you don’t usually come across and it will be in a safe environment without any pressure. You need to put yourself out there. Also, make sure your friends know you’re single and the type of man you want because they may start to have suggestions for you from the people they know.

As cheesy as this sounds, joining a couple of groups where you can meet people with similar interests could be perfect too – there might be other people who are also joining groups to hopefully meet someone!

If you’re brave enough to try app dating, do it with caution. But the bonus of it is that you can practise your banter and go on a few dates just for fun. They may not lead to anything at first, but getting some experience in the dating world will bode you well for stumbling on to the man of your dreams. Please let me know when it happens.
Good luck, Jay-Jay

A problem shared is a problem halved! Send your sticky issues to Jay-Jay – email [email protected].

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