Real Housewives of Auckland recap: Episode 7

"Doggy style Dan", stray pussies and bubble baths
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After a heated week in Port Douglas, the Housewives were back on home soil where things appeared to have calmed down … well, everything except Michelle’s beating heart that is.

The mum-of-two got the glad eye for her pup’s obedience trainer Doggy Dan – or as “Missionary Michelle” called him “Doggy Style Dan” – who was visiting her Coatesville home.

More not-so-subtle (but totally harmless) flirting ensued with suggestions of stroking, Dan’s athletic body and an invite to move into her country abode.

Thank God, her bestie Gilda arrived when she did.

Across town, at an inner-city cafe, Louise – who was waiting to hear whether she landed a TV gig – got some hocus pocus with her flat white.

She met up with Angela, who gave the actress a vial of “magic” lotion to “rub all over her aura” for positivity.

Note: No Louises were harmed in her experiment.

Meanwhile, a suitably overdressed Julia joins The Champagne lady on her jaunt around Parnell as she feeds the stray pussies.

Between dishing out jelly meat and nearly falling off cliffs, she tells Anne she’s made peace with Michelle (off camera).

She also tells her she’s taking her and the girls clay bird shooting – and animal-lover Anne is not the least bit impressed.

Louise didn’t get the job . Angela went back to her cauldron.

At clay shooting, organiser and gun expert Julia was totally miffed to come third-equal with Angela – clearly her “hand eye coordination”.

Miss “I’ve shot an AK-47” Gilda took out gold.

There was no trophy, only pride.

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The episodes concluded with authors Gilda and Angela both preparing for their book launches, which are set to take place within days of each other (awkward!).

Gilda called on the help of her friend and emcee Mark to finesse the finer details of her soiree, which included $2300 bottles of alcohol.

But Angela got one up with a nude shoot in a bubble bath!

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