Often when a long-term couple escapes for a romantic getaway to a tropical island, there are whispers among friends that an intimate proposal beneath coconut palms could be on the cards. But when Tom Sainsbury and his partner of seven years Jacob went to Samoa recently, the prospect of an engagement was more of a running gag.
Still buzzing from the trip and with a very tanned nose, Tom laughs as he tells Woman’s Day, “We were in a beautiful fale overlooking the glistening Pacific Ocean and we kept making tongue-in-cheek jokes like, ‘Well, this is the perfect time and the place to pop the question!’ But nah, we didn’t get engaged. We’re happy as we are. I don’t think we’ll ever get married.”
A well-deserved escape
After a “mammoth year” writing and filming the upcoming Sky murder-mystery series Small Town Scandal, the 43-year-old needed a brief holiday to recharge with Jacob, 34, before embarking on his nationwide stand-up show Lessons Not Learnt.
For the fun-loving couple, it’s the small things that are the big things.
“I love he always thinks of everything,” enthuses
Tom. “Jacob’s skills are in researching and scheduling trips, whereas I just turn up! “I’m vegan, so he’d already looked up all the places to eat and did a great job of that. It was the most amazing, postcard-perfect seven days, looking at all of the tourist sights, as well as swimming and drinking lots of fresh coconut water together.”
Fame follows him everywhere
While the Matamata-born performer wasn’t recognised on the plane from his starring roles on the Air New Zealand safety video, he was stopped by fans while snorkelling at the Giant Clam Sanctuary.
“They actually recognised me from Shortland Street, which I was on six years ago,” he laughs.
“I find that really funny because I was playing a psychopath stalker with a prosthetic nose, so when people still recognise me from that, I’m like, ‘Oh, great, the nose wasn’t a disguise at all!’”
It was love at first sight for Tom when he met the very handsome and kookily fun Jacob through a mutual friend in 2018. The pair got into a relationship a year later and decided to spend the Covid lockdowns together, “so it was all sped up”.
Opposities attract
Tom smiles, “We balance each other out. Jacob is very chill and moves through things quickly, whereas I’m a bit of a fretter. But we have a mutual appreciation of beautiful things, even though we’ve
got differing opinions on what we like – I’m much more into kitsch and camp designs, while he loves really well-made, considered art.”
Tom also describes his beau, who works for Auckland Council, as a creative person who’s into making pottery and ceramics. So have they tried to recreate that iconic clay scene from Patrick Swayze’s 1990 hit movie Ghost?
“That’s another constant joke between us!” he roars.
“Unfortunately, I’ve not been allowed into the community pottery workshop as yet. Don’t worry – as soon as I am, I’ll be suggesting it.”
From clay to comedy
A lot of Tom’s popularity has come from his viral satirical videos, posted daily to his social media. Using the face-swapping filters built into Snapchat, Tom delivers short, humorous vignettes portraying multiple quirky characters.
He says the videos can take anything from five minutes to half an hour to dream up and film solo. And yes, Jacob has provided the inspiration behind some of the characters – but not Luscious Luke or Boomer Dad, if you’re wondering.
Inspired by real life
“He actually inspired the video I did on musical yawns,” recalls Tom.
“You know the people who yawn but a trilling melody comes out with it as well? He does that without realising it. I’m also tempted to create a council worker video, but I shan’t. Jacob already has workmates who come up to him asking, ‘Hey, is this video of Tom’s inspired by our office?’”
His other long-running alter ego, blonde wine reviewer Fiona, who always drinks the whole bottle, also looks set to make an appearance during this month’s comedy tour “because she’s the one that’s
a real hit with my clientele”.
Humour for the Gen X crowd
By which he means middle-aged women, whom he calls his Fanburys.
Says Tom, “Gen X women have the best sense of humour. It’s the humour I most relate to and tap into. When I was a child, I was obsessed with my older sister and her friends, who are now in the middle of this age range, so I had training from a very early age about what’s funny and getting to laugh with them.”
Tom Sainsbury: Lessons Not Learnt is touring nationwide until 2 November. For more info and tickets, visit livenation.co.nz.
