Alexa King Stone
Ever since she was 12, country music superstar Tami Neilson has always performed with her brother Jay. That is until July 2024, when he was placed in an induced coma just as the Auckland mum of two was preparing to record her new album Neon Cowgirl.
The Toronto-based guitarist, 47, had gone into hospital for a routine procedure to remove a lesion from his forehead, but the operation ended in a medical emergency that saw his brain swell, causing multiple seizures and strokes, and requiring the removal of half his skull.
With Jay unresponsive in a coma, Tami, 48, and Jay’s wife Lindsay had to make a critical decision about whether to proceed with recording the album, which he’d helped to write.
Th struggle to stay
“I wanted to just stop everything and jump on a plane,” admits Tami.
But with doctors advising that nothing could stimulate him, Lindsay convinced her to stay put and get into the studio, telling her, “I know it’s hard because you want to be here, but when he wakes up and finds out you haven’t recorded that album of songs he’s been so excited about, that will be more devastating.”
This was the motivation that fuelled Tami as she went into Auckland’s Roundhead Studios to make a record for the first time ever without her brother’s involvement.
Recording through tears
“I had a photo of Jay at my mic,” she tells Woman’s Day.
“It was a real struggle to get through a song without crying and falling apart. Recording was an act of faith – I knew when he woke up and listened to the songs, he would have a reason to strive to get better.”
When Jay first came out of the coma two months later, Lindsay would gently play him one song at a time, so as not to overstimulate his brain.
“He was so emotionalmand overwhelmed,” recalls Tami.
“Every song she played him, he’d just cry and cry – but with happiness.”
Jay’s road to recovery
Fast-forward to today and Jay’s slowly recovering. Having learnt to walk and talk again, he had surgery in April to reconnect his skull, which has improved the paralysis in his right hand to the point where he’s now back playing the guitar.
Two years ago, Tami also faced her own near-death experience after complications from a routine gallbladder surgery saw her suffering sepsis and a collapsed lung.
“When you’re faced with your mortality very starkly, then a year and a half later have to go through it as a witness of a loved one, those kind of experiences shake you to your core,” she shares.
A shift in perspective
“They completely change your perspective. “As I edge closer to 50, I’m having this moment where things are shifting in me, where suddenly I’ve realised I’m halfway through my life – God willing! I’m not going to waste any more of it caring about the opinions of others.”
This new mindset’s helped Tami confidently tackle her biggest year in music yet. This past September, she debuted at the Grand Ole Opry, the global home of country music in Nashville, playing Borrow My Boots – a song from Neon Cowgirl that Tami wrote over FaceTime with US star Ashley McBryde.
This year, she’s toured with Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan, and in June, Tami tore the roof off the Grand Ole Opry again performing Foolish Heart, a ballad from the new album she and Jay wrote while she was road-tripping around the States in a caravan with her sons Charlie, 13, and Sam, 11.
Seeing the fruits of decades of work
“It’s a crazy thing to process,” she smiles.
“When you spend 35 years of your life tilling this dry-ass soil that is the music business, it can be decades of that before you even see a little sprout push through. This past year and a half, it’s been incredible to see the results from that seed I planted 30 years ago finally bloom.”
Along with heading out on the road for her Neon Cowgirl Tour, which kicks off Friday in Wellington, Tami’s also preparing for a family visit to Toronto for Christmas – her first one in 20 years. As part of that trip, she’ll help Jay “take baby steps” in his recovery, including his first flight since his coma, which will see him travel with Tami, her husband and the boys to stay with their other brother Todd on Prince Edward Island.
“He’s pretty excited about that!”
First performance together since the coma
The visit will also be the first time the pair performs again together, with Tami and Jay set to play a low-key acoustic gig in Toronto to about 100 people.
“It’s two months away and that gives him time to practise,” says Tami.
“I’m more anxious about it than him. When I suggested it, I said to him, ‘Worst case scenario, we get closer to the date and you say you’re not ready, then we cancel it.’ But he’s not at all interested in cancelling!”
Tami’s Neon Cowgirl Tour begins on Friday in Wellington, before hitting Auckland, Christchurch, Nelson and Tauranga. For info and tickets, go to tamineilson.com.
