Photography: Emily Chalk
Ross Cooper knew he’d found the woman for him after walking into his Rotorua flat and laying eyes on an athletic brunette standing on her head in the lounge. Although the rugby stalwart will have you believe it was his physique that caught her attention!
“Judy had come around to our flat to do some yoga with a teaching colleague I flatted with,” recalls Ross, 73.
“She was upside down in the lotus position. I walked past and the first thing she noticed was my incredibly muscly legs.”
“Oh, I did not,” retorts Judy, 78, laughing, proving their comedic to-and-fro is a key ingredient in their timeless love.
“We were both simply school teachers who just hit it off right from the start. We’ve always enjoyed a lovely connection.”
A lifetime of love, rugby, and service
Chatting to the Weekly from their sunny home in Waihi, the retired couple is not only celebrating 50 years of marriage, but Ross was also named as a King’s Service Medal recipient in this year’s King’s Birthday Honours.
The recognition has left him feeling “incredibly proud and humbled”, as he reflects on more than five decades of service to rugby, with Judy as his biggest supporter.
Born in Te Kūiti, Ross played as a loose forward for Wairarapa-Bush, Centurions and the Thames Valley Rugby Union, serving as captain.
After being “bitten by the coaching bug”, he moved on to be a senior coach for Thames Valley, Counties Manukau and the Chiefs Super Rugby Team. He then became a selector for various New Zealand age-grade and Heartland teams.
A proud chapter in All Blacks history
It was while Ross was an All Blacks selector and assistant coach from 1994 to 1999, that he counts one of his proudest moments: being part of the All Blacks coaching team, led by John Hart, which made history in 1996.
The team, captained by Sean Fitzpatrick, secured its first-ever New Zealand test series victory on South African soil.
“Although we won, it wasn’t an easy tour,” he shares.
“There was a lot of unrest and we had armed guards always with us. “But coaching was something I just fell into. Over time, doing it for the All Blacks grew into a dream for me.”
Discovering a future rugby legend
Ross also had a keen eye and knack for spotting top talent early. He first saw a young Jonah Lomu play for Wesley College in 1991 during his time coaching Counties, when he would travel from the Bay of Plenty region up to four times a week after school for training and on the weekend for the game.
Judy tells, “I remember a conversation in the car coming back from Pukekohe, where Ross talked nonstop about this kid and how wonderful he was.
His words were, ‘I’ve found an All Black!’ “I said, ‘What? You’ve seen an All Black?’ And Ross said, ‘Well, no – he’s not an All Black yet, but he’s going to be.’”
Believing in Jonah before the world did
Ross reveals he wanted to put 16-year-old Jonah in the Counties team that year, but his school didn’t want him to finish early.
“But in early ’94, I got him in my Counties squad,” he says proudly.
“His first game in the league was a friendly provincial match against Horowhenua and Counties won 108-12.”
Three months later, Jonah made his debut for the All Blacks, becoming the youngest player in history to earn a test cap at the time. It also meant the start of a lovely friendship between Judy and Jonah’s mother Hepi. Following a nail-biting match between Counties and Otago, Ross remembers returning to his Dunedin hotel to rewatch the game on television.
“Over the commentary, I could hear two ladies distinctly yelling for Counties – it was Judy and Hepi,” he laughs, “Although Hepi was a few decibels louder!”
A love story in tune
When Ross and Judy’s love story began in the early ’70s, it was Judy who was the famous one. As a talented singer, she was a part of a trio called Kandy Corporation, who regularly performed at Rotorua’s Tudor Towers.
In 1971, they decided to send an audition tape to weekly home-grown pop TV show Happen Inn and were successful.
Judy’s spotlight years
“After she sang on Happen Inn, the trio became back-up singers for Kiwi popstar Bunny Walters on his album,” says Ross.
“She’s been on TV more than I have! I have to say, Judy is not only an outstanding reading teacher but she is very talented at music.”
It’s at this point Judy interjects, telling him, “Oh, come on, you have to say that.”
“No, it’s true!” he replies.
Judy shares, “The funny thing is, before I met Ross, I told my friends that when I married, I wouldn’t marry a teacher or a rugby player. But I ended up getting both! “I don’t know why I didn’t think that was a good idea, given I was a teacher and my dad was into rugby. It was a juvenile throwaway comment. But now, I think, ‘Aren’t I lucky?!’”
Building a life together
The pair married on August 23, 1975, during a small ceremony at Thames Union Church, where Judy grew up.
When Ross’ sideline career as a rugby coach took off, the couple was raising their four children and living in the small village of Waikino, near Waihi, where Ross was the local school principal
for 15 years.
He enthuses, “Without a doubt, if it wasn’t for Judy, I wouldn’t have done any of it because it was a challenge for our family having me away a lot on rugby tours. “She would take over running the school, while also holding the fort at home with four kids, who were all keen on after-school sports. “It was a very, very busy time. Judy did amazingly well while I was touring the world. I actually don’t know how she did it – I couldn’t have!”
A positive partner in life and rugby
Judy, who’s only recently stopped tutoring children in reading and writing, explains, “Well, I saw it as a blessing that Ross could follow his rugby coaching career.
“He was doing what he loved and he’d come home happy as, brimming with positivity. I’ve always told my friends he is the most positive person alive, so that helped our marriage. “And we have turns at cooking too – although he cooks steak every time it’s his turn!”
Rugby on the home front
The Cooper children – Emma, Sarah, Ben and Sam, who are now all aged in their forties – also grew up befriending rugby stars like Jonah and other All Blacks, as well as coaches John Hart and Laurie Mains.
Ross muses, “I loved my time touring but it was all-consuming. When I came home, all I wanted was a simple boiled egg for dinner, while the kids rummaged through my suitcase for merchandise which was then paraded around Waihi. “Later on, rugby let us travel all over the world together as a family. Then once my career stopped, Judy and I were asked by a travel company to lead tour groups all over the world following the All Blacks around for a decade. That was so cool!”
But despite working on rugby’s biggest stages, Ross has never lost sight of his provincial roots. He has since been giving back to the game as a key driver behind the development of the women’s game in Thames, and is currently president and a life member of Thames Valley Rugby.
Rugby runs through his DNA
“New Zealand Heartland teams, those small amateur unions, are part of my DNA,” he asserts.
“Being a resource coach meant I travelled around the country helping to get grassroots rugby off the ground. “A lot of our All Blacks start in little Heartland units too. You’ve got to dream. You can get anywhere if you want to work hard.”
From All Blacks to grandkids
Now as grandparents of 14 “grandies” (including baby granddaughter Sia who sadly passed away three years ago), Ross and Judy agree family has been their “biggest blessing”.
Ross reflects, “I look back and think I’ve been so lucky with Judy and the kids. We get on so well and have lived a really lovely life. Now we have great moments, getting just as much joy from watching our grandkids play sport as we used to from the All Blacks.”
And in case any readers wondered, Ross never took up yoga to impress Judy.
“One thing’s certain,” he roars.
“You will never find me doing a lotus pose!”
