Photography: Phillip Castleton.
When Kelly Swanson-Roe visited a clairvoyant after the devastating loss of her first husband, she was told that one day she’d meet a man she’d recognise instantly as the one to mend her heart. Two decades later, she has no doubt that man was her now-husband, Married At First Sight Australia relationship expert John Aiken – and she believes her late husband Jon Roe had a hand in bringing them together when she needed him most.
As the couple welcomes Woman’s Day into their stunning Sydney home and introduce their kids, Aston, 15, and Piper, 13, proud mum Kelly reflects on the extraordinary path that led her from unimaginable loss to a second chance at love and happiness.
“I’ve always been spiritual and to me, it felt like John was placed in my life at exactly the right time, as though Jonny was orchestrating it all from above,” she says.
“He’s someone who understands grief, who lets me be me, who’s not scared of my past and who celebrates every part of me.”
Before the spotlight shifted
It’s been a long time out of the spotlight for Kelly, 51, who grew up on a Waikato dairy farm, but today she and MAFS star John, 55, are offering a glimpse into their private world. While John is the famous one in their partnership now, thanks to his smash-hit reality show, it wasn’t the case when he and Kelly first met in 2005. She was a well-known newsreader on Three and Prime, having been taken into the nation’s hearts after her husband of just three years, Jon, died in a canyoning disaster in Switzerland
Meanwhile, John, a psychologist, was tentatively dipping his toes into media work. It was during a presentation to a group of journalists and broadcasters when he first laid eyes on his beautiful future wife.
Instant connection
“I knew who she was and I couldn’t take my eyes off her,” John remembers.
Later striking up conversation during a coffee break, their connection was instant and undeniable. For Kelly, however, things were complicated. While she found him “lovely and very charismatic”, she was still grieving, and her friends and family were quite protective. Instead of launching straight in, they became mates, getting to know each other over email as they lived in different cities – John in Auckland and Kelly in Wellington, where she was working on The Breeze.
“He was witty and funny, and we just got on so well,” she recalls.
“There was a lot of banter between us.”
Full speed ahead
Within a few months, both knew they’d found something special, so Kelly – ignoring her loved ones’ advice to take things slowly – quit her job and moved to Auckland to live with John. A week later, she told him they should buy a house together.
John recalls, “I was like, ‘What? I’ve only just met you!’ And she said, ‘Well, yeah, I like to move fast.’ It took me about five days to gather my thoughts and get on board. It’s been like that ever since – Kelly pushes and motivates me at every point in my life. She’s a phenomenal person.”
Grateful for a second chance
To have a second chance at love after all she’d been through felt magical, says Kelly. She’s eternally grateful to John for embracing her past and helping her create a future.
“Humans are made to feel joy,” tells Kelly.
“We’re not meant to be sad. I always knew Jonny would’ve wanted me to move on and be happy. And I am.”
A deep emotional connection
Kelly still marvels at how lucky she is to have found such an emotionally connected partner. While Sydney-born former cricketer John, who spent his early teens in New Zealand, insists he’s a husband rather than a therapist, Kelly says his open communication, as well as his high emotional intelligence, means their relationship is rock-solid and full of joy.
They put each other first, celebrate each other’s passions and successes, and make time for those little moments of connection every day.
Small moments, big impact
“That might be something simple, like getting up a little earlier for coffee on the balcony together or going for a walk,” shares Kelly.
While they might have differing hobbies and interests – John would rather book into a five-star hotel than join his wife on her beloved camping or hiking adventures – their shared values are at the heart of their marriage. They count themselves lucky for still being as much in love as ever.
Aligned in values
“When it comes to those values around raising children, about commitment, about equality and about roles in a relationship, we’re deeply aligned,” says John.
“We’re both still attracted to one another and in love. We get on with each other’s friends and family, we celebrate each other and we want each other to shine. That’s the stuff that matters.”
The couple married on Waiheke Island on 21 January 2007, before moving to Australia the following year.
From broadcasting in design
There, Kelly left broadcasting to study interior architecture – something she’s always been passionate about. Stepping away from the limelight has been “a lovely hiatus” and these days, she’s more than happy to leave public life to her husband, who can barely leave the house without being recognised.
As John’s profile has grown, Kelly’s new career has flourished too, with work in both residential and commercial design. Passionate about heritage restoration, she loves to transform rundown properties and the stunning house where our photoshoot takes place is a perfect example.
Turning houses into homes
Currently on the market, Kelly’s turned what was once a neglected property into a refined, modern, five-bedroom home.
“It certainly didn’t look like this when we bought it,” she laughs.
“But I had a good feeling about it. I told John, ‘We have to buy this.’ People often ask me, ‘What’s your design style?’ It’s not about my style. It’s about what can I do to a house to make it completely sing and what’s going to show its best attributes. That’s what design’s about.”
A partner in awe
While John has no interest in DIY himself, he says there’s no stopping his wife when she fixes her sights on a project. Over the years, they’ve transformed five properties together.
“She loves to roll her sleeves up and get in there,” says John. “She’s not precious at all. She’ll pick up a chainsaw, build a retaining wall or just garden for hours on end and I adore that about her.”
Family first
But it’s being parents to Aston and Piper that brings them the greatest joy. Their teens are hardworking, creative, and endlessly entertaining. The family loves spending time together, whether it’s hanging by the pool, enjoying family movie nights, or heading off on overseas adventures.
Kelly says John is an incredible father and they approach parenting as a team. For four months of the year, when John is filming MAFS and often working through the night, she picks up the slack. And the same goes the other way around when she’s in the thick of a big work project.
Hands-on dad
“I always knew he’d be a fabulous father, but he is next level in the dad department,” smiles Kelly.
“The kids both have a very close relationship with him. He’s very hands-on. He doesn’t subscribe to rigid ideas about parenting roles – he’s up early, he cooks breakfast for the family every day, he makes their lunches and he irons their clothes.”
Whereas John fusses, Kelly is “a bit more free-range”.
He explains, “Kelly teaches me to let go, which is great, and so do the kids because they’re very much like Kelly. They move quickly. They’re creative, spontaneous and impulsive – they operate at a really fast speed. I have to try to keep up!” And having experienced tragedy, Kelly is inspired every day to surround herself with positivity and joy.
“I refuse to sit in a space where I don’t feel good or where my heart doesn’t sing,” she admits.
“I move a million miles an hour because life is short and I want to make the most of it. I’m grateful every day that I have John and the kids to share this journey with me.”
