Babiche Martens
True love is a wonderful thing, but Jay-Jay Feeney has learned that when it’s of the long-distance kind, it feels like a wild rollercoaster of emotion. After a heartbreaking year apart, the Kiwi radio legend and her Algerian boyfriend Minou have just enjoyed a blissful couple of months together, soaking up every moment while quietly dreading the inevitable goodbye.
But today, as the couple joins us for a very special Woman’s Day photoshoot at the Sofitel Auckland Viaduct Harbour. Jay-Jay’s beaming as she shares some exciting news – their farewell is on hold and Minou is staying on!
A visa lifeline brings hope for the couple
“We’re so happy,” says Jay-Jay, 51, explaining that while Minou, 32, was due to fly home on 8 September, a last-ditch visa application’s given them a lifeline.
After months of legal wrangling, mountains of paperwork and much uncertainty, the pair finally has hope for a future together. Minou is allowed to remain in New Zealand while his partnership work visa application is considered.
Extra time together while waiting for a decision
If successful, he’ll be able to stay on for a year and get a job.
“I honestly couldn’t believe it when we found out he didn’t have to leave,” says Jay-Jay.
“I was jumping around and crying. We still don’t know what’s going to happen, but at least we have a few more weeks together.”
A love worth the leap
For Minou – who’s taken extended leave from his medical sales job in Algeria to be with the woman he loves – it’s a dream come true. He insists he’s always had faith their relationship would work out and happily admits he’d marry Jay-Jay tomorrow if he had the chance!
“I know I will love her forever, so of course I want to get married,” he declares, gazing at Jay-Jay as she has her hair and makeup done.
“It’s my duty to love her.”
Minou’s dream of marrying Jay-Jay
Jay-Jay, who confesses Minou already calls her his wife, says, “He’s so romantic – much more than I am! He’s very affectionate and loving, and he’s always leaving little notes for me. He probably kisses me too much! We’ve talked about marriage, but I don’t think we need to rush. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.”
Their unlikely union began back in 2018, when Minou stumbled upon a photo of the former More FM star while scrolling on Facebook. Liking her smile but having no idea who she was or
where she lived, he sent a playful message.
A love tested by distance and covid
Jay-Jay, bemused by a “young hot guy” sliding into her DMs, initially sensed a scam. But eventually they began chatting and a friendship developed. Taking a chance, they met for a holiday in the Maldives later that year and romance blossomed. After another getaway in Malaysia, where they both realised things were serious, Minou visited Jay-Jay in New Zealand in late 2019, spending Christmas with her family.
Due to Covid border closures, the pair made the heartbreaking decision to split in 2020 and Jay-Jay started dating again. But when the star ended a relationship early last year, she realised she still had feelings for Minou and they got back in touch. Cue a romantic holiday reunion in Bali, where their love was rekindled.
Since then, Jay-Jay’s been forced to become something of an expert on immigration. She’s battled to get their relationship taken seriously by the authorities.
The challenges of proving their love to immigration
“For anyone who thinks it’s easy to immigrate to New Zealand, they’re very wrong,” she explains.
“It’s such a difficult, expensive and complex process. We’ve had to prove over and over again we’re a legitimate couple. “We’ve had to provide our messages, photos and emails. It’s felt pretty uncomfortable and violating at times. For all those people who are saying he’s just using me for a visa, the reality is it’s pretty bloody impossible!”
A long-awaited reunion in Auckland
However, after several failed applications, Minou was finally granted a visitor visa in June. Soon afterwards, he arrived in Auckland for a 10-week stay. It would be the longest period the pair had spent together. While she was delighted to see her beau again, Jay-Jay admits she was a little worried about how it would go.
“Every other time we’ve been together, we’ve been on holiday, and it’s been fun, exciting and amazing,” she says.
“This time, though, I knew I’d be busy working and I was worried about what Minou would find to do during those hours. I didn’t want him to be bored and miserable.”
From sightseeing to cooking dinner at home
As it turned out, Minou loved exploring the city while Jay-Jay worked. He’s become a regular at the local mosque, has joined a gym, made new friends and he happily goes sightseeing solo on an electric scooter.
“Often, he’ll turn up at work out of the blue and poke his head around the door to say hi,” says Jay-Jay, who runs the Podlab podcast studio with her ex Dominic Harvey.
Aside from a fabulous trip to the South Island and a quick visit to Taranaki, the couple has simply enjoyed being together at home in Auckland, feeling like they finally have the chance to do “normal couple things”.
Jay-Jay says, “It’s been quite a good test of the relationship because we’ve had the chance just to hang out together, cook dinner and watch TV.”
Love across cultures and beliefs
Culturally, the pair is from vastly different backgrounds. Minou’s continually amazed by how open-minded and free it is here compared to his deeply conservative Muslim homeland. In Algeria, same-sex relationships are illegal, landlords often refuse to rent to unmarried couples. The concept of flatting is unusual, and social conventions limit friendships between men and women.
While Jay-Jay’s an atheist, Minou’s deeply religious. It’s a subject they discuss a lot, often with a good dose of humour thrown in.
She smiles, “I’ll tell him, ‘Say hi to Allah from me,’ when he goes off to pray and when Minou tells me he’s here in New Zealand thanks to Allah, I’m like, ‘Er, no, you’re here because of Immigration New Zealand and me!’ I’m lucky he has a good sense of humour.”
Minou’s aware he’s breaking the rules of his religion by sharing a bed with Jay-Jay, but sometimes the heart must win.
“I love her so much that it feels like I don’t have a choice,” he says.
“Sometimes you have to be like, ‘Oh, my God, this will be hard to explain,’ but you have to live your life.”
Facing criticism with love and resilience
While the pair is incredibly happy together, they’ve been hurt by some of the negative comments made online about their unlikely union. Jay-Jay knows that as someone who’s in the public eye, she’s fair game for judgement. She’s still been shocked by the strength of strangers’ opinions on their age gap and Minou’s perceived motives.
More often than not, it’s middle-aged Kiwi men who are the nastiest.
“I still don’t understand why people feel they can share their thoughts on someone else’s relationship,” muses Jay-Jay.
Focusing on love amid negativity
Despite the detractors, she says her feelings for Minou continue to grow. And while they wait to hear the outcome of the visa application, Jay-Jay’s doing her best to enjoy this extra time with Minou,
rather than worrying about what their future will be.
“It’s been hard, but I wouldn’t change a thing,” she smiles.
“I love that he’s so open-minded, intelligent and funny, and I love his curiosity for the world. But mostly I feel so safe with him. I’m really lucky.”
