Photography: Peter Righteous.
At 33, Dove Stedfast from the Gloriavale Christian Community has just given birth to her seventh child with her 28-year-old husband Watchful Stedfast.
As the granddaughter of the controversial religious sect’s late founder Hopeful Christian, Dove’s path from virgin bride at 22 to becoming a mum to a girl and six boys – Thoughtful, 10, daughter Gracious, nine, Endure, seven, Considerate, five, Fortitude, three, Thankful, two, and newborn Eliezer – is one that’s been laid out for her from the moment she was born into the West Coast community.
“Our kids are so special and each one of them is amazing,” Dove (née Love) tells Woman’s Day.
“Before each arrived, we just prayed it would be what God wants. We don’t know the plan for their life – we feel it’s best to leave it completely in God’s hands.”
Delighted she has “at least 10 more years left” of fertility, Dove says she and Watchful are hoping they could expand their family to a total of 13 kids. “Each child we have is an extra job – it’s more work in the home – but it’s for such an amazing eternal benefit. Each one of our children’s souls is going to be there in Heaven. That’s why we make different choices that some people don’t make.”
A love that grew
The couple has just celebrated 11 years of marriage, after meeting for the first time just five weeks before they wed, when Watchful was 17.
“We started off our relationship not knowing much about each other and not having a romantic attraction,” says Dove, who is one of the stars of the three-part documentary series Devotion: The Gloriavale Story.
“Our courtship was good. We had lots of fun experiences.”
As is Gloriavale’s custom, on their wedding day, the couple consummated their union immediately after the ceremony. Nine months later, son Thoughtful was born. Art teacher Dove says raising their family has brought her closer to Watchful, who is training to be a teacher too.
“The thing I love most about him is just how much he loves me and God. That really shapes our whole marriage – how he is to me and how much he loves to please me. The things I value, he values. The things I’m interested in, he’s interested in.”
Finding strength together
When they’re not teaching or doing other unpaid voluntary work at Gloriavale, the family likes to spend their downtime hiking, swimming and camping near the local rivers.
“Last summer, we found a beautiful little spot with a nice pool for swimming,” says Dove.
“We cleared a big area as a campground – it was a great project to do with our boys. I loved it. We slept there for about a week and we plan to go back this summer too.”
It’s their close bond that helps her and Watchful through the challenges they continue to face as members of Gloriavale, which half of her family has now voluntarily left. Her brother Jeremy exited in 2016, with his wife Zoe and young son, but sadly passed away in a motorcycle crash in 2019.
The following year, her dad Selwyn, once a senior leader, left the community, then Dove’s sister, but she and Watchful chose to stay.
“When we got married, it was all pretty tickety-boo and set up for us,” she explains.
“There were preschool centres and the school, and everything was stable. But then over the years, that’s been challenged a lot with the court cases. “We’ve had to be brave, grow up and really ask, ‘What is this life about?’ But through it all, we’ve been so united in our understanding of each other, and the trials have made us stronger and closer. We still adore and love each other so much, but life’s not as much of a fairytale as it once was.”
Facing difficult truths
Mostly this is because of the court cases the community continues to face. In 2023, the Employment Court questioned Dove about women’s rights at Gloriavale, ultimately ruling that six former female members had worked as legal employees rather than volunteers.
Today, Dove’s on the periphery of the closure of Gloriavale’s Christian School after the secretary for education confirmed last month that its registration as a private school will be cancelled due to concerns it’s not a physically and emotionally safe place for students. The school remains open because of a High Court challenge by the board, with a judicial review set down for later this month.
However, the greatest challenge of all is facing up to the alleged sexual abuse of women and girls that led to indecent assault convictions for community members, including her grandfather Hopeful and his successor Howard Temple, the Gloriavale leader who was convicted last year of indecently assaulting girls and young women aged between nine and 20 over two decades up until 2022.
“I wasn’t abused as a child and have never been abused, so I can probably have a rosy and positive perspective on my life,” says Dove.
“Finding out that other people have been through really hard things has been a real awakening.”
She recalls instances of people in her peer group who suffered at the hands of older community members.
“I never knew it was happening and I think a lot of people didn’t know. But now we’re aware, we’ve got safe practices, procedures and policies to make sure these things don’t happen. There’s such an awareness in the group of looking out for bad situations.”
Keeping her children safe
Asked if she has any concerns about the risks for her daughter Gracious, Dove is adamant she’s comfortable with the safeguards the community has
put in place.
“I feel like we’ve learnt so much and I’m grateful that we’ve changed. I’m confident we won’t have that sort of thing happening again, certainly not for my family.”
She says Temple was like a second grandfather to her, and she often spent time with him and his wife.
“I’d say goodnight and offer a hug to them both. There was nothing sexual about it as far as I’m concerned, but I know he ended up pleading guilty because he wanted to acknowledge that he’d made people feel a certain way that he didn’t mean to. “There’s definitely been terrible things that people did and that we, as a group, are hurting from and having to own. But we have to learn from it, move on and make sure that life is safe for our children now.”
Making their own rules
One way Dove is doing this is by working with the other three families who share their hostel floor, including 23 kids ranging in age from Dove’s newborn to a 25-year-old.
“We are mostly related through my husband’s side. Just this week, we’re working on getting individual policies in place for each floor. We’re talking about bathrooms and community spaces where we’re happy for all four families to be, as well as spaces that are just ours. “We have this ongoing opportunity to continue developing what future we want for our children.”
Devotion: The Gloriavale Story streams on ThreeNow.
If you’re struggling with sexual harm, call Safe To Talk on 0800 044 334 or visit safetotalk.nz.
