Photography: Tessa Burrows.
Somewhere in Dame Sophie Pascoe’s Christchurch home, amid the debris from a major house reno, sits a bag. Inside it are the 19 medals from four Paralympic Games that have made her one of Aotearoa’s most decorated sportspeople.
The fact the honours, 11 of them gold, live unceremoniously in an old tote rather than a trophy cabinet tells you everything about where the elite athlete and mum is at.
Despite spending 21 years being defined by “following a black line at the bottom of a pool”, Sophie, 33, no longer measures herself by her sporting prowess.
From swimming to presenting
Instead, she’s most fulfilled juggling renovations, prepping to front Sky’s Commonwealth Games coverage in Glasgow, and doting on her husband Rob Samson and their two-year-old son.
“Life is a chaotic blessing,” she tells Woman’s Day.
“That really is the best way to describe it. I’m busier than when I was swimming! I mean, I’ve gone from structured routine to basically adapting to the uncontrollable, with every day changing, but I’m so content.”
Adjusting to new life
However, although Sophie’s enjoying being in a glorious chapter in her life, she admits it’s taken a bit of work to learn how to be happy with what she has.
“When I was a high-performance athlete, I was never content because I was constantly wanting to try to shave 0.01 of a second off, so as a mum, I’ve had to be kind to myself and understand what content is, being a mum.”
Allowing herself to relax
That gratitude extends to letting go of the punishing standards that once ruled her every day and being able to reflect on how moving through the severe depression she found herself in six years ago, at the height of her career, has ultimately become a blessing.
“To come out the other side of that and not only survive it but also have a real understanding of my identity was a good thing,” she reflects.
“People carry multiple identities and I was never just an athlete, but I put myself into that box.”
The pressures of being an athlete
Sophie’s brutally honest about what competing at an elite level demanded and how it defined her.
“There’s a selfishness when you’re in high-performance sport. Any athlete who says they’re not selfish, I would really question them. You do make a lot of choices. In my case, I followed a black line and chased that 0.01 of a second.”
But behind closed doors, that decision left her extremely lonely. It was only thanks to her tight-knit team – many of whom have been with her since she was 13 – that she was able to get through.
Focusing on herself and family
Today, Sophie is a very different woman.
She explains, “Now my goals are family goals, personal goals, goals for my son, and the goals Rob and I have together. Then I wear the multiple hats of being a mum, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an auntie, a friend, a colleague and multiple others.”
Her latest role is as a telly presenter, which sees her moving to Auckland this week for the full duration of the Games. The commitment means being apart from Rob and their son – who are off to her husband’s native Fiji instead – but Sophie is proud for following this new career and grateful for her family’s support.
Her biggest supporter
Rob, whom she married in 2023, has helped change Sophie’s perspective.
“Being with him, I’ve learnt so much from a cultural and personal lens,” she enthuses.
“It’s changed the person I am and the type of mum I am. The Fijian people are beautiful and he’s brought out the best in me.”
And then there’s their beautiful boy, who is, in his mum’s words, “full noise but awesome”.
Like mother like son
Sophie swims with him every Friday, though his talent in the pool has the proud mum nervous for all the wrong reasons.
“He loves swimming, so I’m like, ‘Oh, my gosh, please no!’ I’ve joked to Rob that if our son decides to be a swimmer, then he can do the early morning drop-offs. Whether he gets to a high-performance level or not, that’s another chapter. Supporting and loving him are our key focus as parents.”
The pressure to return
But motherhood didn’t unfold the way Sophie had anticipated. Becoming pregnant while training for the Paralympics in Paris, she was, at first, determined to join the sporting mums who’ve made triumphant returns.
“The hardest thing for me is I really wanted to be that mum who could come back to elite sport after giving birth and pave the way for other mothers out there too. I’ve watched all these incredible women make a comeback while they’ve been pregnant and then postpartum. But my little boy was just like, ‘Nope, that’s not going to happen. Not for you!’”
A brutal pregnancy with hyperemesis – extreme, persistent nausea and vomiting – followed by a long post-partum recovery dictated Sophie’s decision.
“Sport was no longer a priority in my life,” she admits.
Looking at the brighter side
While it wasn’t the ending she’d imagined, Sophie’s happy it was her choice.
“I finished sport on my own terms,” she muses.
“I’ve read about some athletes who haven’t been able to and my heart breaks for them, so I feel really lucky.”
Instead, a new door opened. Unable to compete at Paris in 2024, Sophie joined the TVNZ Paralympics broadcasting team, where she was mentored by TV personalities Scotty Stevenson and Wendy Petrie, and discovered she loved life on the other side of the camera.
She shares, “I never thought it was going to be my new pathway post-swimming – I sort of fell into it – but I loved feeling like I still had a part to play for the Paralympic movement.”
Taking on a new role for Commonwealth Games
With the athlete’s instincts to improve kicking in, she put her hand up for the Commonwealth Games, where she’ll present alongside Laura McGoldrick, who’s somewhat of an inspiration to Sophie.
“She’s incredible. I know that I’m going to be really comfortable next to her!”
While she knows it won’t be easy and even admits she’s a little nervous, Sophie’s a firm believer that nerves mean you care. With Glasgow’s time zone requiring 3.30am alarm settings throughout the Games, then a friend’s wedding in Canada straight after, Sophie won’t see her son for nearly four weeks. But she knows that when she does, holding him will be sweeter than ever.
Still wildly infatuated with her boy, Sophie says her son puts everything into perspective.
She smiles, “Once I held him, I was like, ‘This is everything.’ I knew then that I didn’t need another gold medal.”
Dame Sophie Pascoe presents the Commonwealth Games coverage from Thursday on Sky Sport and Three.
