We chat to some of our favourite local stars about the relationship that shaped the people they are today.
Dame Miranda Harcourt, 63
Director, Acting Coach
Dame Miranda’s mum is actor Dame Kate Harcourt, 98, and she is mother to Sara Kupa, Thomasin, Davida and Peter.
Tell us about your mum…
My mother Kate has been a mum to many over the years. She was the beloved voice of Listen With Mother on the radio in the 1960s. And then she was a mother hen to a few generations of young actors and creatives, providing a listening ear and words of wisdom in rehearsal rooms and backstage.
The one thing I wish I could say to my mum…
You have done a remarkable job of crafting a career in the performing arts, from a tough beginning as a farm girl in remote Canterbury, growing up in the 1930s and ’40s when a career as a singer and actress would have seemed impossible. And you have guided your family along the same rewarding path!
What food most reminds you of your mum?
Corner of topside. That is the cut of meat that we most commonly had for dinner through the ’70s – and I have never even heard of it since. It is such a poetic and whimsical name for a cut of meat. Kate would push whole cloves of garlic into the meat, like cloves into a pomander, surround it with rosemary from the garden, and make roast potatoes, and carrot and parsnip mash. Delicious.
The legacy my mum passed on…
Generosity! When the phone rang with a problem to be solved, she would always down tools and respond with advice, a lift in the car, a meal, lending something that someone else needed. Whether it was one of her own kids, an actor, a friend in need or a stranger, she was always willing to help someone else.
Morgana O’Reilly, 40
Actor
Morgana’s mum is choreographer Mary Jane O’Reilly, 75, and she is mother to Luna, 10, and Ziggy, seven.
Tell us about your mum…
My mum loves to laugh. She’s the first and last on the dance floor and one of my best friends.
The one thing I wish I could say to my mum is…
Texting me on a Sunday evening to ask if I need any help with the kids over the coming week is one of the nicest, most thoughtful and loving things anyone could ever text.
The saying she has on repeat…
Mum is the queen of sayings, including, “I’ll be back in two shakes of a dying duck’s bootlace”, “You either laugh or you cry” and, “Coke is just sugar and water” – I’m pretty sure she made this one up!
What food most reminds you of your mum?
Cheese and crackers. My mum is a self-confessed cooking-phobe. Nevertheless, she makes a banging white sauce, meatloaf, devilled egg and asparagus roll, but her go-to meal is Colby cheese on Sesameal crackers.
The legacy my mum passed on is…
Live my art. Love my art. Hustle my art. Create. Some years are flush, some aren’t. Do what you love.
How has your mum influenced how you parent?
Mum gave me a long lead and lots of trust. I lived up to her expectations of me out of adventure and exploration, not desperation or fear.
Morgana stars in Small Town Scandal, streaming now on Neon and her film Stories About My Body will screen during the upcoming NZ International Comedy Festival.
Fern Sutherland, 38
Actor
Fern’s mum is Kerry Sutherland, 73.
Tell us about your mum…
You’ll hear her laugh before you see her, not knowing the lyrics won’t stop her from singing with uninhibited confidence and enthusiasm, her abundant garden is her happy place and her sweet peas are the most beautiful in New Zealand.
The one thing I wish I could say to my mum is…
I was three years old when you were my age now. I cannot imagine having a kid to take care of and teach the ways of the world. You did spectacularly better than I could do. You have always been a terrific mother, despite what you privately think.
I am most proud of my mum…
For being practical and humble, but maintaining an unwavering love for life. Over the years, I’ve noticed a sharp downturn in the “caring about what anyone thinks” department. She’s also not afraid to tell off a boy racer or someone rude at the supermarket. I respect the hustle.
A fear my mum carried that I only recognise now is…
The stress with coming from financial uncertainty is something that I now understand acutely. She always worked so hard to make sure my sister and I had enough for our extra-curricular activities, often going without herself. It must have been exasperating when we chose to give up some of that stuff – dancing, violin – because we were bored or decided it wasn’t cool any more.
Fern stars in the new season of The Brokenwood Mysteries, which starts Sunday, May 10 on TVNZ and TVNZ+.
Kate Rodger, 58
Broadcaster
Kate’s mum is Pauline Rodger, and she is mother to Max, 13.
Tell us about your mum…
My mum Pauline was 49 when she died of breast and liver cancer, more than 30 years ago now. I knew her as elegant and graceful, kind and patient, and so generous with the one thing that matters the most and she had too little of – her time. She was a woman who would drop everything just to boil the kettle for a cuppa and chat with whoever dropped in.
The one thing I wish I could say to my mum is…
I’m so sorry. You gave everything you had to raising your young family, with so little left over for yourself. It took me growing the hell up, then decades later having a child of my own, to fully understand the sacrifices a mother makes and the ones you made for me.
What is your favourite Mother’s Day memory?
You know what? It was just last year! I have very low expectations on Mother’s Day (a long story), but Max woke me with a full cooked brekkie – eggs, bacon, my fave roasted tomatoes (which he hates eating and hates cooking even more!) and a homemade card. So simple, so full of love and so damn delicious! I was stoked.
What I hope Max will understand about me one day is…
That I did the very best that I could with every speed bump we hit. That the version of his moody, menopausal mum trying to navigate the sudden and heartbreaking flip from nuclear family to solo-parent might not have been the easiest version of her to live with for a while, but that she did – and still does – everything in her power to make him feel loved and secure.
Matty McLean, 40
The Hits Drive announcer
Matty’s mum is Tracy McLean, 63.
Tell us about your mum…
Mum is the life force of our family – the most selfless person I know, who puts everyone before herself. She is smart, thoughtful and incredibly kind. Bless her, she’s probably the butt of most of our family’s jokes, but she does it with such grace and humour. I love her unconditionally.
The one thing I wish I could say to my mum is…
You are my hero and I don’t know what I would ever do without you.
I am most proud of the way my mum…
Is there for me, no questions asked. I can still call Mum any time I’m in the supermarket with a cooking question and she will always answer the phone. She is just so kind and I’m forever grateful.
What is your favourite Mother’s Day memory?
A few years ago, I surprised Mum with a trip up to the big smoke to spend the weekend with me for Mother’s Day. It’s rare we actually get to spend the day together these days, so I tried to make it as special as I could. Dinners out, a stay in a hotel, cocktails – I wanted her to really know just how much I loved her.
Something my mum did that I only appreciate now…
When I was 17, I went to Austria for a year’s exchange programme. I’m such a reality TV fan and that year, the first season of New Zealand Idol was airing on TV. I was devastated to be missing it, so Mum taped every single episode on VHS and sent them over to me in a care package. Isn’t that the most thoughtful thing you’ve ever heard?!
Melissa Chan-Green, 42
Journalist
Melissa’s mum is Catharina Becroft, and she is mother to Busby, six, and Mabel, three.
Tell us about your mum…
She is the kind of person who can dig up a backyard, lay huge pavers and make it all look beautiful within one day – all by herself. Then throw on a dress and go to work, literally saving lives in her work at retirement villages.
The one thing I wish I could say to my mum…
It’s time to rest! The garden looks lovely and the work has been done. Time to take some time for yourself and enjoy the view.
My favourite Mother’s Day memory…
Arriving home from the hospital with my baby daughter on Mother’s Day morning. Mum had been in the hospital, lying on the floor overnight, to help me get some sleep while my husband looked after our son. I felt far more like I knew what I was actually doing as a mother with our second baby and loved those early days with a new baby at home – or at least that’s what my memory tells me now. So we’ll go with that!
Something my mum did that I only appreciate now…
Working night shifts as a nurse while she had four daughters. Apart from remembering she had the odd nap in the evening before she had to go to work, I don’t know how she found the time to sleep. Especially now that I have worked unusual shifts myself, whether it was the early alarm for AM and now frequently for RNZ.
Melissa hosts the School Shorts podcast, see schoolshorts.com
Holly Shervey, 36
Actor
Holly’s mum is Jo Shervey, and she is mother to Adeline, 13 weeks old.
Tell us about your mum…
I remember my mum as an incredibly strong woman, with a real “don’t mess with me” energy. At the same time, she was full of softness and warmth, she was my safe place. My mum passed away when I was just six.
The one thing I wish I could say to my mum is…
You’re a grandma now. Her name is Adeline Jo.
Becoming a parent changed how I see my mum because…
She had three kids in her twenties, and I never truly understood how selfless that is. Now that I’m a mum, I see just how much she gave at such a young age.
How has your mum influenced how you parent?
My mum was very go-with-the-flow, and I can be a bit more rigid because of my anxiety. Hearing stories about her and remembering what she was like reminds me to loosen up a little and not take everything so seriously.
What you’re most thankful to your mum for…
My time with my mum was short, but she really shaped the foundation of who I am as a storyteller. She filled our world with books, epic dress-ups and completely embraced my dramatic nature – even nicknaming me “Holly Maleficent” after my favourite Sleeping Beauty character, which feels like a pretty perfect summation of me.
The hardest thing about parenthood that no one warned me about…
Finding a work-life balance. I’m a bit of a workaholic, so I’ve had to learn how to navigate being a mum alongside my career. Thankfully, my husband Em [actor Emmett Skilton, 38] is incredibly supportive and has created space for me to do both.
