It’s not too often women are heard raving about how much they love going into labour, but Kiwi actress Morgana O’Reilly is a proud birth-loving geek who’s determined to change perceptions about welcoming babies into the world.
“I’m a birth nerd,” chuckles mum of two Morgana, who will star in the next season of hit US drama The White Lotus. “In another life, I’d be a midwife. I’d love to give birth again. Especially if I didn’t have to do all the harder stuff that comes after!”
Morgana’s love for labour made her perfect for the new series Friends Like Her. Having starred in local comedy Mean Mums and Aussie soap Neighbours, the 38-year-old felt ready to take on a “juicy drama”. She plays working mum Nicole, who becomes a surrogate for her bestie Tessa. But, things take a dark turn after an earthquake strikes their hometown of Kaikōura.
In contrast, Morgana says her path to parenthood with filmmaker husband Peter Salmon, 48, was “peaceful”. Daughter Luna, eight, and son Ziggy, five, arrived via water births, with Morgana vividly recalling the magical moment she witnessed Luna take her first breath.
“She sounded like she was finishing a milkshake, then I watched this purple blob looking around with dark eyes,” she recalls. “Her lips turned red and her cheeks flushed pink as her body took on its own air. It was awesome!
“Meanwhile, Ziggy cried and I thought he was cold. I swished water onto him, which maybe wasn’t the best idea since birthing pool water isn’t particularly clean!”
Morgana has since become passionate about spreading positive messages around giving birth.
“We’re brought up being told it’s the most pain you’ll ever go through. Yes, it’s intense, but we do uncomfortable things for future gain all the time. The biggest hindrance is fear, and my industry has a lot to answer for because on-screen depiction of birth is always horrific and involves a terrified woman.
“Imagine if you put birth in a CrossFit gym instead of a hospital – somewhere pain means progress. All those facial expressions are the same expressions on birthing women and when you hit a wall with training, your trainer goes, ‘Keep going!’ Giving birth is the same.”
Before becoming a mum, Morgana also expected labour to be “awful”, but Luna and Ziggy proved otherwise, so she tried to make sure her birthing scenes in Friends Like Her were different to stereotypical perceptions of labour.
It was Morgana’s drama background that helped her see that, whether it’s acting or giving birth, fear causes tension, pain and “clamming up”.
She says, “Working towards opening night of a play is similar to working towards birth day. There are so many people watching, but you have to keep focused, remain open to play and remember how amazing it’ll feel once you finish.”
The gritty role of Nicole was challenging at times. So, Morgana used massages and Reiki to help her switch off after filming. One of the hardest parts was imagining handing over a baby after giving birth. However, the star believes surrogacy is a great option for people “doing it for the right reasons, with boundaries and guidelines”.
When it comes to her own family, Morgana jokes that she’s a “hot mess” of a mum, especially now that her career has hit new heights with The White Lotus.
“I know how finite their childhood is and that I’m also in a productive part of my life. I’m trying to juggle those values so that I don’t miss out on either. Luckily, Peter is super-supportive. I can’t imagine trying to do this if you had a partner who was guilt-tripping you or disappointed when you were making career headway.
“Mum guilt’s bad enough, so to have somebody go, ‘Do it!’ is heartening. He’s an amazing dad and partner. His pet peeve is having his parenting referred to as ‘daddy daycare’. He feels strongly about being an equal part and that he’s not a novelty because he’s the dad.”
While Ziggy has inherited their showbiz genes, having starred as Robyn Malcolm’s grandson in After The Party, the couple is otherwise keen to keep their kids off sets.
“I’m hanging on for dear life with mine and my husband’s careers. If the children get careers now, we’re screwed,” laughs Morgana, adding that she won’t have any more kids. “Then we wouldn’t all fit in one cab!”
Morgana’s passion project is her one-woman show Stories About My Body. It uses hilariously awful extracts from her teenage diaries and is all about body positivity. Something she’s very keen to instil in her own children.
Today, the actress treats negative body image like an allergy. “I’m aware of the triggers for being a dick to myself about the way I look,” she says. “They include being tired, burned out or not getting a job I wanted. It’s about knowing your triggers, like you would with hayfever or a nut allergy, and how to combat them. A walk or eating good green food makes me feel better.”
She’s now fundraising to adapt Stories About My Body into a movie. Until then, Morgana is pinching herself about filming The White Lotus in Thailand.
“I’m working my way out of the s**tting-my-pants zone because I’m such a fan of the show,” she says. “Reading scripts and talking to [series creator] Mike White helped me believe this isn’t a scam. Being on set will be the ultimate proof it’s happening.
“You get so many noes in this industry, so this is a lovely affirmation after years of putting in so much work and I feel like I’ve got the whole of New Zealand behind me. Everybody’s faith and excitement touches me. But I also have to put that aside and go, ‘I have every right to be here. It’s just another set. I’ll be sweet!’”
Friends Like Her premieres 8.30pm Monday on Three and ThreeNow.
