Midway through 2024, Jodie Rimmer was on top of the world – resplendent in a red vinyl jumpsuit and platinum wig, she had audiences in stiches, as well as tears, with her stunning performance in one-woman show Nicola Cheeseman Is Back. Even her rheumatoid arthritis had taken a backseat.
“I think my body just knew I was happy,” grins Jodie, who was diagnosed with the extremely painful autoimmune disease in 2021. “It was amazing. I’d been in agony the first week of rehearsals, then I didn’t feel that pain again!”
On top of her professional triumph, Jodie, 50, also started dating a guy she met through mutual friends. The Sweet Tooth star hadn’t been in a relationship for five years, but she decided to give love a chance.
“I was feeling great because I’d just finished the show and the whole thing was super-exciting,” she shares. “The relationship was easy and organic, and he was really into me. I was like, ‘This is amazing. I was not expecting this!’”
The actress admits that great sex was another unexpected bonus. “I honestly didn’t know that everything still worked down there after five years!” she laughs. “I’m really happy to report that everything does work well. It was so fun! The fact I got to experience that sort of pleasure was great.”
Sadly, after three months, Jodie sensed something was wrong. Her lover, who is also in midlife with two kids, admitted that he didn’t have the capacity to be in a relationship.
“I could understand that intellectually,” says Jodie. “Juggling work, parenting and trying to maintain a relationship isn’t easy. I didn’t blame him – he was making the right choice for himself – but I was really upset and disappointed. I just felt really low and lost, and questioned whether I should even be dating if I was going to have a reaction like this.”
What Jodie didn’t realise was that her hormones were also playing a big role in her despair. She had been on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for a year to help manage hot flushes and anxiety brought on by menopause, but she wasn’t on the correct dosage.
Jodie saw her GP, who then doubled her dose, and things improved dramatically.
“I was on 50 micrograms and I should have been on 100! My hormones were super-out-of-whack, so no wonder I was having a hard time. Once my hormones balanced out, I was able to have some compassion for myself. I’d been giving myself such a hard time.”
Despite her heartache, Jodie hasn’t been put off dating.
“I’m still pleased I did it,” she shares. “We had a magical time for three months. It’s really important that when we do take risks, we don’t just throw the baby out with the bathwater. Yes, I got hurt, but I’m OK and I don’t regret it all.”
She’s also keen to emphasise that she’s not sitting around waiting for a man to make her happy. She credits swimming, yoga, mindfulness, her two sons and her fabulous tribe of friends – as well as the HRT – for keeping her content in midlife.
“Also, I identify as bisexual,” she points out. “I’m not heterosexual by any means – I’ve had relationships with men and women. It’s vulnerable putting yourself out there, but I don’t want to become relationship-averse. I’m open to finding someone in the future, but we’ll see. I’m not in any hurry.”
There is one person in her family who is revelling in a relationship, though. She set her dad Bill up with James Mustapic’s mum Janet on the show James Must-a-pic His Mum A Man and they’re still going strong.
“They’re doing so well,” she grins. “My dad’s down in Dunedin at the moment, staying with her. They actually get to see each other quite a lot and they make the long-distance thing work. It’s so cute. And I’ve finally got a gay brother!”
Jodie’s delighted Nicola Cheeseman Is Back is returning for another run, despite having to get 43 pages of script back in her head. She shines as harried midlife mum Nicola, who dreams of getting her band – the Cherry Slits – back together. She also gets to play Nicola’s petulant ex-husband, who’s struggling to keep up with his much younger partner’s sexual demands, her 12-year-old daughter and a host of other characters.
“Nicola Cheeseman is a gift,” declares Jodie. “I do feel like midlife can be an awakening, but it takes a minute to get there. In the end, Nicola does have her awakening and she does feel empowered, but it’s hard for her! I think we all relate to that.”
Since doctors balanced her hormones correctly, Jodie is feeling confident about her future too.
“Midlife doesn’t have to be horrible,” she insists. “At the moment, I’m starting to feel unstuck and I’m starting to want to do new things – and that feels great. We can easily feel down and scared. But once everything gets balanced, I think you do start to really come alive. And also start to give zero f**ks as well!”
Nicola Cheeseman Is Back runs from 11 to 16 March at Auckland’s Q Theatre. For tickets, visit qtheatre.co.nz
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