Photography: Babiche Martens.
With 30 years of reporting, television and radio hosting experience, journalist Carly Flynn, 48, grew to resist thinking about a life outside of media. But after becoming desensitised to a number of shock industry announcements and tired of having to keep hustling for work, Carly – who presented Sunrise, Nightline, 3News and Target, among other things – decided to find out what else her media skills could translate to.
These days, Carly’s working part-time in the corporate world in communications and events, while also emceeing and freelancing in the media world when the opportunity comes up.
The mum of three chats to the Weekly from her home on Auckland’s North Shore, where she lives with cameraman husband Dave, 49, and their three children, Tilly, 15, Jude, 14, and Freddie, nine, and cocker spaniel Alfie.
What childhood experience shaped who you are today?
My Mum and Dad were really brave, and in 1990 decided to move the family from Taupō to live in Rarotonga for three years, to work as teachers. Of course, I hated this because I was 12 and it was the worst news ever. But within about three months of arriving, I never wanted to leave. It was really foundational to building empathy and understanding other cultures. I was a minority on the island – I didn’t speak the language, and had to try and fit in.
We didn’t wear shoes to school and we danced in a local troupe every Friday night to Kiwi tourists. It’s where I learned to play tennis, which is still a huge part of my life. Because we lived on Muri Beach and all of the expats lived on the other side of the island, nobody could afford petrol to come and visit us. Weekends were spent sailing and I got my first job at the sailing club. Rarotonga absolutely shaped me and I admire my parents massively for upping sticks and giving us that gift.
How did you feel moving back to New Zealand in fifth form?
Hard! It didn’t help that my parents were teachers at my high school. It’s probably why I left school at the end of sixth form and took off to journalism school in the Waikato.
At 21, you were running the Prime TV newsroom – that must have been a baptism of fire for a young journo?
Oh, people management totally broke me at that age! I was there as a reporter to craft people’s stories, but then agreed to manage 15 to 20 staff, do rosters and deal with people calling in sick or a cameraman with a company car getting a drink-driving conviction. I had to have hard conversations. That all imploded. It was my first experience of burnout actually. I wanted that role though. I’m a people-pleaser, so I wanted to help.
Is there an on-air moment that still haunts you?
The one that comes to mind is mortifying. I was sent by Sunrise at the last minute to the Australian bushfires in Melbourne. I broadcasted from there for Sunrise and carried on interviewing during the day. Then because the fires were so bad, it transpired I’d need to lead 3News at 6pm as well. I’d never read the 6pm news before. There was no script and the autocue lens at the front of the camera fell off just as we went to air. I remember it being an absolute panic moment. The producer rang afterwards and said, “You could have referred to what was going on behind you!” I was like, “I was just trying to get words out.” It was a lot of pressure, but the great thing about Sunrise was it helped me become myself on air.
When it was axed, was that the lowest point in your TV career?
Oh, yeah, I wallowed far too long and took it very personally. I was eight months’ pregnant with my first child and I was told at the time, “Just go and have your baby and don’t worry, the work will come.” And it didn’t. You lose your confidence and then you have to hustle. And I’ve never really been a hustler. So I wallowed, had another baby and wallowed some more. I reckon I spent 10 years mourning that loss. My embarrassment prevented me from putting myself out there again. But I did manage to host radio shows the next decade and I really loved it. I think the shows that I worked on in both TV and radio were axed 10 times – Target, Radio Live, Magic Talk, Cook the Books… By the time Today FM was axed in 2023, I was like, “Is it me?” I don’t think I even shed a tear for Today FM, I was so hardened.
You became a qualified yoga instructor and had your own studio in amongst that time – are you still teaching?
I’m not. I’ve always liked to have a little bit of a pick and mix of things. Yoga was a great source of comfort to me when I had two small children and I had the time to get to classes. Then Covid hit and it became too hard to keep people coming to the studio for those two years in Auckland. Yoga is something I must make space for again.
How do you look after your mental health in this season of full-time work, three busy kids and perimenopause?
I’ve definitely had bouts of depression over the years, fundamentally after jobs ending. I am on top of it these days, but I think it’s never too far away from people if you don’t look after yourself. The biggest challenge of my life at the moment is looking after myself with the busy stage that I’m in. But I know the consequences of where things can go if I don’t. I now exercise at 6am as it’s the only time I have.
You’ve completed cognitive behaviour therapy – has anything stayed with you from that?
Yes, I learned this wonderful acronym that I try and live by: ACE – Achieve, Connect and Enjoy. Because sometimes when life’s busy, you’re only achieving, and the connecting and enjoyment drops off. So whenever things feel a bit wobbly, I ask myself, “Have I talked and connected with anyone today?” – even the barista at a café or a neighbour walking past the house. And, “Have I factored in something to enjoy today?”, which is sometimes just grabbing my book and sitting by the window or getting in the garden for 20 minutes.
What gives you energy?
I’m definitely an introvert and gather my energy from pottering around in my house alone. I might be cleaning the kids’ drawers or something, and then I can go out and emcee an event. There’s a lot of energy given at this age and stage – with your kids, work, family and friends. For my last birthday, my girlfriends got me a massage voucher and on the card it said, “Go and have the best time being alone”. That’s exactly what I needed!
Tell us about interviewing the legendary Graham Norton last year for his wine brand – were you nervous?
Very! Oh, my God, he was exactly as you’d expect him to be – warm, kind and funny. There was nothing dicky about him. I was told “he won’t want to talk about himself”, but he was very generous. It was a real moment for me. We gave him a pounamu for coming and speaking to us, and he was so humbled by it. When Dave and I lived in Ireland, I remember Graham was doing stand-up shows in Irish pubs before he became a big superstar.
Now, when you watch his show as a family, do you tell your kids you’ve met him?
Absolutely! I think I got a bit of credibility with the kids for that. It took them a while, but they said, “That’s pretty cool, Mum.” They have no interest that I’ve interviewed Sir Anthony Hopkins, Sarah Jessica Parker or Tyra Banks.
Share the best advice your mum gave you…
“Tomorrow is a new day.” She gave it to me when I had two young babies, but it applies to life in general. There’s always a chance to do or be better and re-set for a new day, especially after
a decent night’s sleep. You and Dave celebrate your 20th wedding anniversary this year.
How did you meet?
Working for the 5.30pm Prime News. Dave walked in and we’ve been joined at the hip ever since. Davey has been my absolute rock. We’ve had to change tact and dig deep many times over the years, and we’re still strong! We’re just figuring out if there’s something workwise we can do together that is reminiscent of our old life before kids.
What’s your signature dish to take to a pot-luck?
I’ve always loved baking bread, focaccia in particular, and it always seems to be a crowd-pleaser, whether it’s paired with oil and balsamic, hummus or jazzed up with salmon and guacamole.
