Emboldened by downing three bottles of bubbly over three hours, Bella Kalolo-Suraj would set to work securing her unrivalled status as the life of every party.
Come 3am, and the talented singer and actress would be looking for another bottle to open – making sure others’ glasses were always topped up too, while quipping, “Keep up, guys!”
Her personal trainer husband Suraj Kumar, who doesn’t drink, would have said goodnight much earlier. Knowing in the back of his mind what to expect the next day – endless questions.
“I’d wake up the next morning and ask him, ‘Did I cause a ruckus? Did I flash my boobs? Did I argue with you last night?’ And he’d nod yes. I’d say, ‘Oh, I’m sorry… I just can’t remember!’ shares Bella, who doesn’t sanitise her story.”
“Or I’d go in the bathroom to see a pot plant toppled off its ledge and ask Suraj, ‘Who did that because it wasn’t me!’ He’d reply, ‘Babe, it was you. You tripped and pushed it over.’ “I didn’t want moments like that! I didn’t like feeling like an ass the next day. I wanted recollection.”
“And then anxiety would fill my chest as I tried to recall what might’ve happened. I mean, I know I would’ve been funny,” she smiles wryly, “but did I go too far with a joke?”
The wake-up call
People would send her videos the next day too. Bella would be dancing “hard out” or singing at the top of her lungs. Of course, alcohol fuelled the Shortland Street star to loosen her guard and make friends really easily.
“I’ve had a woman stop me on the street and go, ‘Hey, girl, I’ve still got your number that you gave me the other night’, but I didn’t recognise them. That’s happened more than once. “Every weekend, I’d also wake up with heart palpitations and a thumping heart beat, like I’d just run a marathon. I knew that over time, it wasn’t good.”
Wake-up calls are not always a big, dramatic event. There was no great epiphany. Eventually, it was a wrecked memory that finally got to her. Suraj was the only one who had previously brought up her problem drinking. Bella came to a quiet realisation on her birthday in March last year that she needed to give up the booze.
“I had also reached out to another friend, Ninakaye, two years ago when I wanted to go on this sobriety journey, but then I got cold feet. Ninakaye was such a great support to me and has been sober herself for 25 years.”
15 months sober
“Now I’m 15 months sober. Cool, aye!” grins Bella, who plays fiery nurse Selina To’a. “Did I have an alcohol addiction? Yeah, I reckon I could’ve. For me, it was the constant chasing of the good time, the high which being drunk gives you. Even though there’s always a drop off to that high, I didn’t care.”
Bella can say now she doesn’t miss it.
“When it comes to the weekend, I’m like, ‘Yay, Curry Friday!’ As opposed to ‘Yay, I’m going to get a box of alcohol.’ I feel good. There was a time around Christmas I had a really hard week, and I thought I could hide in my room and drink tequila, but I didn’t.”
Bella admits that her worst drinking binges were often with family members.
“I recently went to my cousin Moira’s living wake [she wanted a gathering before she passed away], and other family members were looking at me and asking, ‘Drink?’ I was like, ‘Nah, I’m all good.’ “They were so confused and kept saying, ‘So you’re not drinking tonight at all?’ It was weird for them. But it was nice to feel resolute and not feel a twinge of craving alcohol. My go-to drink now is sipping on an alcohol-free Elta Ego strawberry daiquiri.”
There’s one thing you can be sure of when you have a conversation with Bella and that is humour. You will always end up laughing out loud, no matter how serious the conversation topic.
Making a change
Today, at the Woman’s Weekly photoshoot at West Auckland’s lush Totara Gardens, she crackles with energy. She punctuates the interview by singing lines from Michael Jackson hits.
“I’m gonna make a change, for once in my liiiifffe,” she trills, before bursting into laughter.
As with all the best jokes, it contains more than a grain of truth. Since going sober, life has more clarity. Her resting heart rate has dropped dramatically. Bella has decided to do something else for her health by undergoing bariatric weight-loss surgery soon.
“I feel comfortable in saying I need a hand,” she explains.
“Just like when I’m on a plane I am not shy about asking for an extender belt. “Although I’m really great at working out with my hubs, something about being over 40 is not shifting the weight! So I’m doing this for myself. “Playing Selina is all good and I’m comfortable with her rocking who she is on set, and being seen from 360 degree angles four nights a week. However, when it’s just me left in the room, then it’s a different feeling.”
Bella leaves for surgery in Istanbul, Türkiye, later this month through New Zealand-based medical tourism coordinator Arrianna’s Assisted Journeys. She plans to document her experience on her social media.
Facing her fears
There are three main types of weight-loss surgery – a gastric sleeve, a gastric bypass and a gastric band. The former, which Bella will be having, involves reducing the size of the stomach from a sac to a narrow tube. Surgeons remove about 80 percent of the stomach laparoscopically.
Some of the first people Bella told of her big decision were her Shorty besties, Tia Reweti, who plays nurse Cindy Te Toka, and Fleur Saville, who plays Libby Jeffries.
“We’re all very tight,” says Bella.
“The same surgery opportunity came up for me last year, but I said no because I was scared, thinking, ‘Am I going to die?’ Then after discussing it with them, I realised, ‘Am I going to die if I don’t do it?’
“I’ve since had heaps of messages from people who have gone through it and who are offering up their time to talk, which I find so heart-warming. So I don’t feel alone in it.”
Breaking the cycle
Bella knows her decision to have bariatric surgery will be up for debate from fans who will undoubtedly have their own opinions.
“But at the end of the day, my opinion of myself matters more to me than anyone else’s opinion of me ever could,” she says.
“I’ve been on this rollercoaster for years. I’ve lost the same 10 kilos, put it back on, lost it again, put it back on with an extra two kilos… And honestly? I’m tired of living in that cycle. “People might say I need to eat less or exercise more and I have tried! I’ve done many different versions of diets over the years. I also didn’t want to inject myself with a GLP-1 weight-loss medication because it’s an unknown for me. “Taking out half of my stomach will be life- changing. My sister had the operation, so has prepped me for what to expect.”
A new relationship with food
Growing up in a Polynesian family in Wainoni, Christchurch, Bella says food was always used to connect and there’d be “massive feasts” put on for every kind of celebration or mourning.
Like many others, the actress turns to food to make herself feel better when she’s sad or stressed.
“Food has been my best friend on my most emotional days or when I’m premenstrual and I want to eat a whole block of chocolate. “Lately, though, it’s been about seeing someone eat something delicious on social media and thinking, ‘Ooh, I could make that!’ Next thing, I’m eating it.”
Biology, genetics, hormones and environmental factors all influence obesity. But Bella doesn’t have any associated health complications, such as type 2 diabetes or hypertension.
“The only health issue I have is asthma and I feel like being big is making the wheezing all the more worse. “I’ve never been below 100 kilograms in my adult life, so while I don’t have a goal weight in mind, probably getting to 100 kilos would be amazing.”
Facing her eating and drinking challenges head on by taking charge of her health, she’s excited for what changes and opportunities will bring Bella version 2.0.
“While I’ve been vocal about body positivity, I also believe it’s about being positive in your body at any given time and I want to feel that. “And imagine the dance moves I will cut on the dance floor with a little less weight on my bones!” she laughs.
“I’m happy for me to be a new me.”
Shortland Street screens 7pm Monday to Wednesday on TVNZ 2 and TVNZ+.
