If only parenting was a simple case of “do as I say, not as I do”. But the reality is that you are the most important influence in your child’s life and they learn many of their behaviours from watching what you do. Here are some tips on how to be a good role model:
Think out loud
If you are trying to find a solution to a problem or make a choice, verbalise your thoughts in front of your kids so they can understand how you are reaching a decision. If you talk about weighing up the options and what the possible consequences of your actions could be, this will help them to follow your reasoning so they know what to do when they are in a similar situation.
Own up to mistakes
Let your children see that you are not perfect and sometimes you make bad choices. Then let them see how you admit to what you’ve done wrong and how you go about trying to fix it. This will help them understand that everyone makes mistakes, it’s not the end of the world and you should do what you can to make things right.
Keep your promises
If you want your kids to stick to their commitments and follow through with what they say they’ll do, you have to set a good example yourself. This means showing good self-discipline and keeping your word. Don’t give up when the going gets tough – let them see you persevering in spite of challenging conditions. This helps to foster a “can do” attitude.
Be respectful
One of the best things your children can learn from you is how to show respect. It is all very well instructing them to treat others the way they’d like to be treated but if you don’t demonstrate this, how will they learn? Recognising the efforts of others, showing your gratitude, being polite and not taking people for granted are all important behaviours your children can pick up from you.
Be confident
If you are always complaining and dissatisfied with who you are and how your life is going, your children are going to see this as acceptable behaviour. Change their perceptions by trying to be as positive as possible and focusing on your good points. Make an effort to stop moaning about something you’re not happy with – instead try to change it. Hopefully they’ll do the same thing themselves.
Clean up your act
While it’s okay for your kids to realise that you’re not perfect, it’s not a good idea for them to think your bad habits are acceptable. Take a look at things you do in your own home that may not be acceptable in company – belching loudly after eating, for example – and think about whether these are things you’d be happy about your kids doing in public. You can’t expect them to have impeccable manners if you don’t.
Show, don’t tell
Actions speak louder than words. It’s all very well telling your children to be polite but if you hardly say “thank you” or “please” yourself, the message isn’t going to hit home.
Get active and so will your kids
If you want your children to be fit and active then you should get moving yourself. New research shows children who said their parents do almost no physical activity have a 50% greater risk of being unfi t than children whose parents are physically active. British researchers asked more than 4000 children to rate how active they thought their parents were. They then tested the children’s fitness and compared the results. The researchers found that unfit children were more likely to have inactive parents. These parents were not being good role models when it came to physical activity, say the researchers.
