Family

Q&A

Dear Diane, Recently I’ve noticed lots of news stories in which coroners advise parents not to share a bed with their baby. I can understand this in terms of drinking, smoking or drugs, and the possibility of rolling on the child and smothering it. But I don’t indulge in any of those vices and my partner and I feel strongly that co-sleeping is beneficial. The trouble is that I’m now really torn. I don’t want our four-month-old to go into his own bed in another room, but if something happened I’d feel desperately guilty. How do you suggest I approach this dilemma?

Monique, Nelson

Dear Monique, I agree with you that it does not seem reasonable that non-drinking, non-smoking, non-drug-taking parents shouldn’t co-sleep. And on the other hand, to risk the nightmare of being a statistic whose baby suffers cot death while co-sleeping is too guilt-inducing for me.

I have been reading about what appears to be a brilliant compromise – the pepi-pod, or its equivalent. Pepi means baby in Maori and pod is symbolic of protection in nature. A pepi-pod is a general-purpose storage box that converts to a baby-sized bed with the addition of a cover, fitting mattress and bedding.

It offers babies a protected space when they are sleeping in, or on, an adult bed. Your baby is separate but right next to you and ablevto be lifted out for cuddling and feeding when awake, without you having to get out of bed. It is also great for providing a safe sleeping space away from home. They are not available for general sale, but if you look at the website changeforourchildren.co.nz/pepi-pod you could easily devise your own equivalent. Of course, the pepi-pod can only help you provide a safe space. Parents also need to provide the right environment. This means “face-up, face clear and smoke-free” conditions.

Diane Levy provides expert answers to your parenting queries. Send your questions to: [email protected] Diane’s parenting books are available in book shops.

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