Colleen Woodham is busy looking for an outfit in red, white and blue when the Weekly pops by for a visit. “We’re having a coronation tea this afternoon and I have to dress appropriately,” she laughs.
But this is her life now, retirement village living complete with enough activities to keep the very social, very fit Colleen, mother of much-loved Kiwi personality and our columnist Kerre Woodham, occupied.
It’s one that took a lot of soul-searching for Colleen, Kerre and son Tony, but one that has turned out to be a blessing for all.
Colleen recently made the move from her Hamilton home to Auckland and hasn’t looked back.
The following day, she plans to take a bus into Queen Street in central Auckland with some new friends just to try it out. Colleen has done an exercise class followed by yoga and she’ll have a swim later before having a drink at happy hour.
“I’ve been an Aucklander for three months now and I’ve had to rethink everything I had set my mind on for someone my age.”
At 85, Colleen admits there were some things she wasn’t going to do when she got to this age.
“I was always going to stay in my home, in my lovely street where I had been for 40 years, which was full of my close friends and we were all golfers together.”
A player for 63 years, she was a member of her local golf club in Hamilton for 43 years.
“I had decided at age 85, I would stop golf because it had become a lot harder than it was 60 years ago and I just felt I would finish.”
Then the street she loved so much began to change. “Houses were being sold and apartments put up. Then three of my friends died and two of them went into retirement villages. I just felt it wasn’t suitable any more.”
Try and keep up, Kerre! Since mum Colleen moved to Auckland, it’s been a whirlwind of engagements.
Colleen also knew that if she became ill or needed help, it would be a bigger strain on Kerre in Auckland and Tony, who lives in Milford Sound.
“Moving into a retirement village in Auckland put the children at ease, knowing I was safe and sound. And, let’s be honest, my house was built in 1969, so it didn’t have any mod cons or double glazing, and was cold and damp in those Hamilton winters.”
Now she’s in a brand-new apartment with new furniture and indoor heating.
“I also said I would never live in an apartment, in a retirement village or in anything that wasn’t ground level, and now I’m in an apartment on the fifth floor in a retirement village, and I’m absolutely delighted with everything – it’s all brand new,” she laughs.
For 58-year-old Kerre, having Colleen just a 10-minute drive from her Auckland home has changed everything for her and Tony. They both looked at the village together and could see that Colleen was delighted with it too.
“This is exactly what I’ve always wanted,” enthuses Kerre. “Mum and I haven’t lived in the same place since I was 13 because I went away to boarding school. Since then, I’ve only lived in the same town as her for about one year.
“So it’s always been an event, where you go and stay, and you have a trip and you make the most of it. Now there is the sheer joy of not having to make a plan. I can just ring and say, ‘Are you home?’ and I pop over most days.”
Colleen agrees that seeing her daughter usually involved a production.
“Kerre would be all dressed up and speaking somewhere, and doing her best to fit me in on the way to or from somewhere. But now I have my daughter, my granddaughter, her two children and her husband 10 minutes away.”
Kerre says she always told her mother she was just up the motorway, but in reality, it was a day to get there, spend time and get home again.
“I love going shopping with Mum and hanging out with her again. After all these years, it is just so much easier.”
Colleen says Kerre is never far away as she hears Kerre’s NewstalkZB show coming out of doors and windows at the village.
“There she is babbling away, so I don’t need to listen because everyone tells me exactly what’s been going on that morning,” she laughs.
And then on her way home, Kerre will pop in, run the vacuum over the floor of Colleen’s apartment and they will often go out shopping or just to get an ice cream.
“One of the best days we’ve had since I’ve been here is when Kerre picked me up, we went to Milford Beach and sat there licking ice creams,” tells Colleen. “It was heaven.”
Colleen also sometimes stays at Kerre’s house and helps put her great-grandchildren Bart, six, and Dora, four, to bed by reading them books.
Colleen spent 40 years as a teacher, so reading stories is second nature to her, but she admits sometimes she gets a bit bored and skips a few pages here and there. “But you can’t do that with Dora – she’ll pick you up and tell you you’ve missed a bit,” laughs Colleen.
She says when Bart and Dora lived in the UK with their mum Kate and dad Ranko, they had a picture of her in their bedroom, and would blow her a kiss and say goodnight to Nanny every evening.
“It’s one thing to be a picture on a wall and another to be in the room,” reflects Colleen. “I was so surprised at how cuddly and emotional they are with me, and how they have accepted this new person, who is around more, into their lives so easily.”
Kerre is now one of many in her age group who are termed the “sandwich generation” because they are actively involved in the care of their children, grandchildren and also their parents.
Colleen loves her new life. “I’m so grateful that I’m never lonely.”
Kerre, who lives with Kate, Ranko, Dora and Bart in an apartment downstairs, shares, “I’m really lucky that I am by myself and not in a relationship, and I think it’s for a reason. Anytime I think I haven’t got enough minutes in the day, I remember those vast, yawning vistas of grey when I was in Covid lockdowns by myself.
“I couldn’t see Mum and I couldn’t see the kids. I was completely and utterly by myself. So I say to myself, ‘Yeah, it wasn’t that much fun, was it Kerre?’ Give me a life filled with the people I love any day over time for myself.”
Colleen says making the shift was a big decision for her and it didn’t come without some stressful months.
“I was all ready to go and then it took six months to sell my house in Hamilton, and the longer I had to think about it, the more I started to worry about the fact I didn’t know a soul in this place,” she recalls. “There were some very dark moments then.
“I thought perhaps I hadn’t done the right thing. I’ve lived in Hamilton for the past 40 years. I knew the boys who delivered the vegetables. I had my hairdresser and church within walking distance. And suddenly it would all be gone, but it proved it’s silly to worry about things in advance.”
She confides there were tears when Kerre picked her up in Hamilton to take her north. “I was staying with my sister Barbara, who is a nun. She lives at Sacred Heart, which is the boarding school they both attended.”
And her daughter says they both shed a lot of tears at the significance of leaving one boarding school for something that seemed like another.
When Colleen arrived, she admits she wasn’t used to living in an atmosphere which is really more like a hotel. “Finally, when I was dropped off, it was like being dropped off at boarding school all those years ago,” she tells.
Colleen says she had to be very brave and proactive about meeting people.
“I decided to walk around the lovely gardens here and immediately I met the people out gardening or sitting on their terrace. And the next night, when they had happy hour, I plucked up the courage to go down there because there would be lots of people.”
Colleen says she has been lucky to meet so many friendly and welcoming people. One lady gives her a ride up the road to swim aerobics with her and another gives her a ride to church. And Colleen is also learning how to catch the bus, something she has never done.
“If it’s a nasty weekend with lots of rain, I love reading and there’s a terrific library. If I was still in Hamilton on a weekend like that, I wouldn’t have anywhere to go or anyone to see. I’m so grateful that I’m never lonely.”
Colleen says when she arrived, she drew a map and every time she met someone new, she would add their name to the drawing. “That would be my homework that night, to learn them.”
Colleen adds everyone who comes into the village needs to adjust to the fact they are not going to live and die in their own homes as they may have planned.
“But circumstances have changed for everybody,” she muses. “You could either be very negative and sad about it, or it can be a whole new adventure at this stage of your life.”
