**Dear Diane,
**I am an artist, so my surroundings are really important to me. I believe that beautiful things enhance our lives and make us less likely to do cruel and negative things. Anyway, my philosophy aside, we have a lovely house and my daughter’s room is especially gorgeous. She’s eight and into bright pink and florals. I painted two of the walls in her bedroom with masses of flowers and in the middle is her beautiful four-poster bed. You wouldn’t think she has a problem, but she does.
Her friends are jealous and they keep telling her she’s spoilt. One friend in particular has been very mean to her and won’t come and play anymore. I’m really upset about this. I only wanted to do something nice for my daughter and didn’t ever imagine it having negative consequences!
*Jilly
*
**Dear Jilly,
**My guess that your daughter’s friends have gone home and told their mothers about the gorgeous bedroom, demanding that they have one similar. At least one of the responses (probably from the mother of the child who has been mean) is likely to have been, “Well you can’t have one. She’s just spoilt,” and it has rebounded back at your daughter. Eight-year-old girls can be a wonderful combination of conservative and “bitchy”. They will pick on differences and one of the tough lessons your daughter has to learn is what to do with mean comments.
Help arm her with quick, confident throw-away lines in the face of unkind behaviour (such as, “Your loss!”). Once she has shown indifference to the bitchy barbs, the friendships may be restored or she may find more appreciative friends.
Diane Levy provides expert answers to your parenting queries. Send your questions to: [email protected] Diane’s parenting books are available in book shops.
