A popular mummy blogger has hit out parents who use their child to feel better about themselves, and is calling for the disturbing trend of competitive parenting to stop.
Mum-of-one Gylisa Jayne posted the impassioned plea on Facebook, and it has been shared by parents around the world.
“I knew about competitive parenting before I even dipped my toe in motherhood. I mean, I knew about it before I even gave birth – because there was some c— already telling me I was planning it wrong,” she begins.
“Competitive parenting starts at birth. You must do it naturally without breaking a sweat, no pain relief, no whinging – just birth that little turd, no not THAT one – that one… And you are set for winning at parenthood.”
But Gylisa adds that it’s not really reality: “Only, there isn’t really any winners in parenthood is there? I mean, what do we measure it on – happy kids? Kids with lots of stuff? Kids that look right? Kids that don’t misbehave?
“Kids that are alive…?”
She then gets serious about how the materialistic things in life aren’t important to everyone: “That’s a reminder isn’t it… about winning.
“Your kid can have all the toys. The poshest pram. The crib that sways and sprouts a tit to feed your baby who never ever cries at night… But did you stop to remember that you were already ‘winning’ before all that stuff?”
Gylisa reminds people that there are some parents who can’t enjoy the small things.
“How obsolete does it become to gloat about your natural birth, when another parent came out with empty arms?
“How raw is your boasting about your house full of toys to another parent hasn’t got the most important thing filling those spaces?
“How great is the sound of silence that fills your house, while your gorgeous baby sleeps soundly. Safe. Warm. Breathing.
“Meanwhile – another parents house is deafeningly silent, for all the wrong reasons.
“Winning doesn’t feel so good now does it?”
Her sharp but genuine words are in stark contrast to her normal funny style, but nonetheless extremely important.
“There is no winning in competitive parenting, only harsh, painful losing when you least expect it.
“In the UK, there is an average of nearly five infant losses per 1000 live births. In Australia its nearly 4. In Turkey it’s a staggering 13.5.
“And, as if people comparing their journey to yours and deciding who is ‘winning’ isn’t bad enough, any other parent’s loss acts as a harsh reminder for us to hug our babies while they hug us back.
“To spend an extra five minutes at bath time having fun. To let them be messy in the kitchen. To laugh past bedtime in the garden.
“To remember what really matters, beyond all that stuff.
“Loving your child is most important. And there is no measure to that. No-one person comes out on top in love.
“F-ck the competitions, and the stuff. Love your babies. Love your family.
“You don’t know how lucky you are.”
