Dear Diane,
I remember a few months ago you gave advice about children who were stealing things at school, but my problem is a bit closer to home. Whenever the kids have wanted money and I’m busy, I’ve just said, “Go and look in my purse.” I usually specify what they can have, say $20 or $10, according to their need at the time.
Nowadays, whenever I get $100 out it seems to vanish very quickly and I have a feeling my kids are now helping themselves without asking first. Please help me!
*
Katy Perry Fan, by email*
Dear Katy Perry Fan,
The first step is to be sure there is theft. Keep note of how much goes in and out of your purse. Once you are sure there is stealing going on, you can decide whether to stop the opportunity for thieving or if you want to catch the thief. If the former, you may simply want to keep your purse someplace else.
If you want to catch the thief, check the amount left in your purse after each child asks to get money out. Tell the thief what’s missing and you want it back, and that they have lost the privilege of being able to ask for money and help themselves for three weeks. After that, give them a chance to prove they are honest, but they need to know you’ll be checking.
Diane Levy provides expert answers to your parenting queries. Send your questions to: family@nzww.co.nz Diane’s parenting books are available in book shops.
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