My hubby and I work as a team, and we are one unit. Having children can either make or break you so we make sure there is lots love, unconditional support, no judgement and a huge amount of communication between the two of us to keep the ship sailing smoothly.
Some days you just need to take a deep breath and say no. Say no to the things that are causing you stress or that you feel like you can't cope with in that exact moment in time. Saying 'that can wait till tomorrow' or just no to visitors will give you time to yourself and to get the things that you want and need done. Once you learn to say no you will start to feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders, it's liberating!
We plan our meals and snacks for the week so we know what we're having every single day. That might seem like a daunting task, but not only does it save money, it also takes the stress out of that daily 'what are we going to do for dinner' question. Recently we've tried My Food Bag which we've found very convenient, and I've also tried My Bargain Box that we also found a steal.
My mum's favourite saying is 'cluttered house, cluttered mind' and it is so true. I'm still working on this one myself so I will let you know when I get over it. When we have a messy house it just sets the tone for my day so the less things you have the better then there's less to clean up.
Accepting help is a hard one for lots of people, but honestly it isn't as big deal as you think it is. When people ask if they can do something, say yes! If you have a to do list, this actually makes things even better, as you can just point them to an item on the list and they can feel like they've helped you out. With close family, it's things like chucking a load of washing on, unstacking the dishwasher or just minding the baby while you do the vacuuming.
Still doing things that we did pre kids reminds us that we're people, a couple and not just parents. We try to do what we can like getting out for a meal every now and then, and attending events occasionally without the kids, just so we can still be us.
Easier said than done, you might say! It sounds stupid but honestly, trying to relax is so important. If you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for five minutes and have a breather - just do it. You are not a bad parent for craving a break - you're human. Also if you need to have a good cry just bloody do it. I don't do it often, but when I do it feels like such a relief.
You're a mum, you're a wife, but you're also still you. Take time each day - even if it's just ten minutes to read a magazine or sit outside and feel the sun on your face - to just be you. It's pretty incredible what five minutes of peace can do for you. If I'm feeling extra horrible, I jump in the shower and try and steam it out.